Human beings love to achieve…to set goals and to reach those goals. It’s motivating. Use that to your advantage when you are cleaning, clearing, decluttering – and of course, destressing.

Make a VOW to rid yourself of a certain amount, number, or percentage of your ‘stuff,’ whether your stuff is books, papers, files, cans, emails, stuffed animals, or anything else that is cluttering up your mental or physical space.

VOW is an acronym for:

• Visualize

• Orally Commit

• Work through the obstacles

Let’s explore this acronym…

You may be one of the people reading this post who has a wall (or several walls) of books in your home or office. You know perfectly well that it’s time to move some of them out – whether it’s to make room for more books, to make room for other items, or just to create space, which is a SUPERB reason.

You could VOW to get rid of 2 books (a goal involving a number) everyday for 100 days.

• First, you’d Visualize what it would look like to get rid of 200 books.

• Then, you’d Orally commit to doing so. You could tell a colleague, your students, someone in your family, or your coach. You need to say it out loud so you hear yourself making the commitment. This helps to get the idea and the commitment into your brain.

• Then, you Work through the obstacles. Obstacles might be where you’d find the time to get rid of two everyday; the fear that as soon as you get rid of a book, you’d wish you had it; the worry that stuff will fall down if you start taking out books; and so forth. Since only smart people read these articles, I’ll bet once you name these obstacles, you can work through them. If not, let someone help you. Humans also love to help others.

Another VOW (involving a percentage) that you might make could involve your acknowledgement of the research that indicates that 80-90% of what is in the average professional’s file cabinet will never be used again…so you could VOW to recycle or shred at least 50% of what is in your file cabinet.

An example of a VOW involving an amount could be determining that as you declutter (and then destress about your laundry room/pantry) is that you will fill two average-size grocery bags with food you’ll never eat, containers that you don’t need, or whatever else can be removed from that space.

Human beings love measurable goals. Use that proclivity to your advantage by VOWing to get rid of a particular number, amount, or percentage of something as you reduce your clutter and the experience the concomitant reduction in your stress.

And you are invited to access the full-color Get a Plan! Guide(R) to Ridding Your Workspace of Clutter to REALLY get going on decluttering.  This special Get a Plan! Guide(R) will give you (and others with whom you work) suggestions and motivation to start de-cluttering your workspace (and even your home).

It is not just the big things that need to be eliminated in order to reduce stress. You may need to get rid of those extra Cool Whip tubs that fall out of your cabinet every time you open the drawer. You will be surprised by what is on this list. How about starting to eliminate your stress by getting rid of:

1. A ratty planner. Go out and buy one that you love – right now!

2. Ugly decorations for any holiday. Less is more.

3. Irritating sounds (try noise canceling headphones – the technology is amazing).

4. Unnecessarily long meetings (be sure to announce the time you’ll be leaving at the beginning of the meeting).

5. Paying bills by writing checks (and addressing envelopes and putting stamps on). On-line banking and bill paying is fast, easy and secure.

6. Waiting in line at the post office to buy stamps. Please. You have better things to do.

7. Old prescription eyeglasses. The glasses you have from 3, 4, 5+ prescriptions ago…have got to go (and can be dropped off at your eye doctor’s or the Lion’s Club to be given someone who needs them).

8. Returning low-dollar items. If you bought it at the dollar store and it’s defective, fagetaboutit! Depending on your income bracket, you might choose never to return anything….just give it away.

9. Gadgets that don’t work (can openers, VCRs, etc.). All they do is bug you. Get rid of them!

10. Gadgets that you never use (Ron Popeil and other info-mercial kings have single-handedly contributed to the need for this listing!).

11. Plastic tubs in your kitchen (you have Rubbermaid, Tupperware, and so forth a-plenty…so why do you need 35 Cool Whip tubs?).

12. Anything past its expiration date (medicine, spices, contact solutions, canned goods, mayonnaise, etc.).

13. Habits that you obsess over.

14. Emails. Not all email….but if you have hundreds or thousands of emails in your inbox, sent items, deleted items, or some other “items” folder….you are not being peacefully, predictably productive. Start eliminating.

15. Phone books. What in the world do you need phone books for? MAYBE keep one but, for heaven’s sake. Get rid of all the others. They are big and cumbersome and just in the way.

If you can get rid of one of these today, you are making progress. Start working toward eliminating at least one each week for the next 15 weeks and you will much less stress in just four months from now. Hooray for you!!

Please comment on what you want to eliminate – and the difference it makes for you!!  We’re interested

Are you an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person? Do you have some tasks, responsibilities, or projects that you have been procrastinating? I will assume that since you are still reading that the answer is yes to both.

If you have a mental list of items that you are procrastinating, I first recommend that you get them out of your head and on to a piece of paper (or into a document on your computer). Either way, get a list – and then we will work on that list.

I want you to look over your list of procrastinated tasks (projects, etc.) and deliberately, mindfully, and purposefully DECIDE to ask for help on at least one of them. I’ll wait right here while you are doing that.

There are two ways to think about this:

1. Sometimes, you need to ask someone else to help you by doing a particular task, errand, or other commitment and

2. Sometimes, you need to ask someone to handle sometime that you have been handling so that YOU can then complete or make progress on one of your procrastinated items.

For example, let’s say you are procrastinating getting several articles finished – all of which you need to get written and published if you are going to be able to confidently go up for tenure. The help you need to ask for is that your significant other get himself and the kids out of the house with minimum muss and fuss for at least 4 hours every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. That’s the help you need.

In another case, you have been procrastinating cleaning out the garage. You ask a teenager to come over and help you. You are happy to contribute to this young person’s financial well-being if he will help you get things down out of the rafters, off top shelves, and out of various garage nooks and crannies. And, you will be so happy to have him haul things away to a dumpster, Goodwill, recycling places, etc. when the sifting and sorting are complete. You are not delegating out the garage cleaning – you are asking for the help you need so that you can clean out the garage.

Go through your list now and determine the items where you need to deliberately ask for help. Put the name of the person you will be asking for help. The idea here is to think about the ones you’re procrastinating just because you need some kind of help with getting it done.

Here’s a secret: People are glad to help. They are especially glad to help if you have come across as an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person. I know this from experience.

Here’s another secret: It is hard to ask for help if you have been an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person – and it gets easier. I know this from experience.

Eric Hoffer said,

“A preoccupation with the future not only prevents us from seeing the present as it is but often prompts us to rearrange the past.”

When you are deciding where to ‘live’ – in the past, in the future, in the present (or some other cosmic option you might know about) living in the future, just like living in the past, robs us of the present.

Many people over the past year or so have felt a sense of fear, dismay, and negativity that seemed to sweep over people who normally didn’t become fearful and dismayed. This has caused many of us to do some intense thinking about this phenomenon. Let’s think about fear, just a bit.

If you are being chased by a mountain lion or a brown bear, you are afraid – and what you are afraid of, if you really think about it, is the future. It’s your picture, your vision, your imagining that you are going to get clawed, mauled, tossed around, or eaten. You feel fear now (and so would I), but that fear is really about something in the future.

While this may seem a bit dramatic, I want us to get the mental picture of where all fear is directed. It’s always directed in the future. You may want to write that down:

Fear is future-directed.

Even if we are afraid that something we did in the past is going to come back to haunt us – it is not the past that we are really fearful about – it is the future of what will happen when someone (or lots of someones) find out. You can probably think of someone famous in the news right now (no matter when you read this, unfortunately) whose past is jumping up (big time) – but his fear is about the future.

You can probably think of something that you have done that you really, really hope others do not find out about – and you can recognize the fear, worry, and angst that come as we imagine what would happen if people found out. Spending a great deal of time being fearful of the future…based on something from the past, isn’t wise and it certainly isn’t productive.

So, I hope this is clear, that is, that you understand that fear, worry, and anxiety are all future-focused, not present focused. As Tennessee Williams wrote:

“The future is called “perhaps,” which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you.”

If you are feeling fearful or worried, see if you need to pull yourself mentally back to the present.  It’s not so scary right here, right now.  Really.

And please, if you want ideas for staying positive, you’re invited to be part of the Staying Positive Society.  

Have you ever tried to control other people?  How does that work out?  Are any of the folks around you a bit negative?  Can you change that? 

Although we can’t CONTROL others, we can impinge on, have an impact on, and influence them. Knowing what is possible and what is reasonable is the crux of the matter. Attempting to do what is neither possible nor reasonable is where we get ourselves all twisted up in ‘control’ issues – and can become more freaked-out rather than less.

To start, please make a list of 10 different things that are freaking you out right now. And if ‘freaking you out’ is too strong a term, include items that are bugging you or are somehow causing you anxiety. These ten could be work or home related and they can be the BIG things or the little things, however you define them.

• You can think broadly about what is happening in the world;

• You can think about your personal bank account;

• You can think about the tooth that is hurting in your mouth right this minute;

• You can think about your brother who is headed into surgery today…

The list can go on and on, big and small. 

Now that you have this list, let’s begin thinking using a Venn diagram. 

1. Draw a series of 4 interlocking circles that go from right to left across a piece of paper you have turned sideways, i.e., landscape.

2. Label each circle thusly:

Total Control ->Significant Impact ->Some Influence ->Zero Control

Looking at the diagram you have, we will start over on the left. This first circle represents the set of actions, events, people, places, etc. over which you have total control. As you move further over to the right of the diagram, each circle represents sets (using Venn diagram language) over which you have gradually less and less control. Certainly, when you are drawing your own variations of this, you may vary the sizes of these circles to better represent what belongs there if that makes more sense to you to do so.

In this article, we are only going to talk about the first circle, i.e., the one representing the first set of actions, events, people, and so forth. The first circle can be labeled as Total Control, so just write that in if you haven’t already. For all of us who are control freaks, we wish this circle were larger, but it’s not – and the sooner we realize that, the better off we will be and the better off those around us will be. Let’s talk about what actually could go in this first circle.

If you look at the list you made of what is either freaking you out, bugging you, or causing you some anxiety, see which ones are COMPLETELY under your control. My guess is that VERY few of the ones you wrote down, and possibly NONE of the ones you wrote down are totally within your control. Here are some possibilities, however:

1. Your weight. Now I will tell you that my weight is not freaking me out, but it’s a source of anxiety. It’s related to my whole ‘what happened to the young and thin and cute person who still lives in my head but doesn’t show up in the mirror’ thing. For our purposes here, I need to recognize that whether I lose weight or don’t is completely under my control. I could put that in my first circle here.

2. Negative talk coming out of my mouth. If any of us is saying negative, gossipy, cynical, unhelpful words, phrases, and sentences, well…that is completely under our control. Unless someone has Tourette’s or some other condition that I am not aware of, we have control over what comes out of our mouths.

I won’t continue with much explanation here of additional examples, but suffice it to say that pretty much all that we have complete control over is our minds and bodies and many of the aspects of what is related to our minds and bodies. What we say, what we eat, what we wear, what we think, what we do (to an extent) is all under our direction and control. And that’s about it, folks. Sorry. But, knowing that can sure make a difference for you as a person, a family member, an administrator, a colleague, a mentor, a teacher, or whatever other role you find yourself in. 

I have written articles about dealing with physical clutter and electronic clutter, both of which can cause you and your businsss significant problems. But in this article, I want to give you 5 tips for dealing with your money clutter. Do not discount the wisdom in these brief, but brilliant suggestions.

1. Determine exactly how much money you have. You may already have an Excel spread sheet that shows this – or you may be in the situation that far too many Americans are in (I can’t speak for the rest of the world) and that is that you have have essentially no idea or you have a rough idea only. What I am telling you here is that you need to know EXACTLY.     This will take some time, but it is the first part of clearing your money clutter. How in the world can you expect to be a business owner (a successful business owner) if you have no idea exactly how much money you have? Take the time and do this within the next week. Make it a priority.

2. Reconcile your business checking account. If you do this regularly, then this will be no big deal. If, however, you have never reconciled your business checking account (which I have heard repeatedly from people when I ask them about this), then expect this process to take some time. Depending on your familiarity with your accounting system (e.g., QuickBooks) and your understanding of how to reconcile, and consider hiring someone to come in and help you with it. Do not just turn it over to someone. It’s your money and you need to have a hand in getting a handle on the “clutter.”

3. Invoice all of your customers whom you have not already invoiced. It is hard to get paid when you do not send out invoices. That seems like it shouldn’t need to be stated, however it is staggering the number of small business owners who never invoice customers for services or products already delivered. It may be because you don’t have a bookkeeper who helps you take care of this or it could be because you “forget” that you need to invoice clients. Or, it could be that you are uncomfortable with acknowledging the value that you deliver.

4. Follow up with any customers or clients who have been invoiced but haven’t yet paid. That is money just waiting to come back to you, but you may have to track it down rather than leaving it in the “pile” of money clutter. Be strong. If you have delivered the “goods,” you are asking for what is rightfully yours and it is your responsibility as a business owner to clean up this clutter.

5. Pay any outstanding invoices or bills that you have. Part of your money clutter may be that you are not living up to your end of the money flow equation. Pay your outstanding bills and if you cannot pay them in full, acknowledge that and get something worked out NOW with the business or service to which you are in arrears. Clean up the clutter.

I want you to take these five steps over the next five days and see what happens for you.

Money clutter. Have you ever thought about that concept? I’m sure you’ve thought about – and maybe dealt with – your physical clutter because you know that it can take a tremendous toll on your productivity.

But what about money clutter? Any possibility that you need to deal with this, too?

Let’s explore a few ideas related to money clutter. Apply the ones that resonate with you.

1. Go through your office, your wallet, your briefcase, you desk drawers, your car (or anywhere else that you know such things get tucked) and find all the gift certificates, gift cards, and other such items. The next step, which needs to be done promptly, is to use them, extend them, or give them as a gift to someone else who will use them. Money needs to be in motion.

2. Go through your office, including any stacks of unopened mail with the intent of getting rid of clutter and of finding money that is just lying around. When I have worked in people’s offices to help them get organized, I don’t think there has been even one time where we haven’t found one or more “surprise” checks. Sometimes, the amounts are small and other times, the amounts are stunning. Frankly, the amount you find doesn’t matter while you’re doing this. What matters is that you are paying attention to your money and not just casting it aside (which is really what you’ve done when you’ve let it just lie around, hidden and untended to).

3. Take an inventory of all the subscriptions that you pay for and what their renewal date is. Either set them up to automatically renew or put a reminder in your tickler file to cancel. This includes magazines, domain names, software services, online subscriptions, memberships in groups, etc. We added all these over long periods of time and ultimately, we don’t cancel them and have an extraordinary amount of money flowing back out the door each month for unused and unwanted items or services. It’s all money clutter.

4. Make sure you are paying yourself each month – or even each week. This does not mean taking money out of petty cash. It means you are cutting yourself a paycheck. You are running a business, right? Business owners get paid.

Do you think this won’t make a difference? Try doing all of these and see what happens. You are costing yourself and your business tremendous stress and money by having money clutter that is unresolved.

Let’s think about the orange cones of language. As verbal beings, language is a key element in the way that we communicate with one another and even with ourselves.

We think in words and we speak, write, and telegraph (do people even do that anymore?) in words or representations of words. And, words are labels for concepts – so our words are powerful means to convey what is happening internally and externally.

If you want to stay positive, no matter what is happening around you, then listen to the language that is being used in your midst. Whether it is the language that is used on the news, in the newspaper, in magazines, or in other people’s speech and conversation, take a few moments to think about it and then to notice in during the upcoming day.

For example, the words that are so commonly used, such as: scary… frightening… horrifying… terrible… burden… worse… shortage… disruption… downfall… sad… bad… dismay… abysmal… catastrophic.

Just say those out loud. How do they sound and feel in your mouth and in your mind. Horrible. Heavy. If you’re like me, you feel worse even reading or hearing those. These are the orange cone words. I’ll come back to that in a moment.

Now look at the words that are either antonymous with those horrible, heavy words or some that reflect a different perspective: calming… courageous… pleasing… wonderful… assistance… better… excess… organization… success… cheerful… plan-full… honest… hope… possibilities.

Now I’m obviously reading them in my own mind in the way that I think they feel, but I don’t even know if I could have read that second list in a heavy way. They’re lighter words.

Do you need to see about shedding your heavy language and taking up the light language? You are the only person who can answer that, although you might ask someone you trust what he or she thinks, too.

Now, it is possible that it’s not YOUR language that is heavy, but rather it is the language of those around you. If it’s on the news, of course you can turn it off. If it’s in newspapers, books, magazines, or other print, you can put it down. If it’s on websites you’re visiting, you can click off. If it’s co-workers, bosses, those who work for you…then you need to have some conversations. This article is not the venue to talk about HOW to have those conversations, but an awareness that you need and want to is a first step.

Create your own orange cone sheet (or contact me and I’ll send you one) as a place for making notes about the “orange cone words” or “orange cone language” that indicate to you that you are in or headed into a danger zone. Are there statements you start to make or words and phrases you start to hear that are good indications that you are entering into the not-so-positive zone? For example, someone the other day told me that if she heard “in this economy” one more time she was going to scream. Clearly for her, “in this economy” is an orange cone phrase because it sends her to a place she doesn’t want to go.

You may be able to fill this sheet out right now or you may want to keep this one handy through the week. It might be angry language, notes posted around that are hateful, attacks on others, gossip, fear-filled language, doom and gloom and end of world language, predictions of demise, racially, ethnically, or other “group”-based comments, and so forth.

Whatever it is for you…make note. Pay attention to the orange cones that are signals to you. Heed the signs and DO something. If there is one thing I’ve learned lately (and I’ve learned A LOT), then it is to heed the orange cones. When I start to hear or start to use particular language, then I know I need to pull away, get into my “pod,” do some reflection (if it’s me) or some deflection if it’s someone else. Going ahead full bore into an area where there were orange cones trying to warn me is just stupid. I prefer generally not to be stupid.

If you feel overwhelmed and overloaded – and you aren’t happily making progress through your most important projects, tasks, and commitments, it’s time to make changes. Big ones. Here’s what I recommend:

Eliminate at least 20% of what is currently noted in your planner, including both the calendared events (appointments and so forth) and the to-do list items.

“WHAT?!” you say?! “Are you crazy? 20% of what is there?! No way! Can’t be done.”

Yes, that’s just what I’m saying. Here are some suggestions for how to eliminate at least 20% of what is there.

If something is “well, uh, bleh, but…” then that’s a yellow dot.

Those things that are either high energy for you, high priority (due to importance), central to who you are and what you do, then those are ones to mark with a green dot.

• Open your planner (which I hope you have been using as the place to record all your appointments, meetings, tasks, and other commitments). If you have an electronic planner, print out the monthly pages and to-do list for the next 2 months because you will need to be marking on them if you choose to use this particular suggestion. If you have a paper planner, you’re set.

• Note: Two months is usually a reasonable place to start. You have it complete enough that you know it’s overloaded and it’s a large enough window that clearing it by 20% (or more) will make a difference.

• Now, get a green, yellow, and red pen, marker, or colored pencil. Look at every single appointment, to-do list item, etc., and if your feeling is “ugh!” and there’s no energy and you just can’t make a case for doing whatever is written there, put a red dot next to it. (I’ve done this, and it is actually a pretty fast process; you know what the red dots are – intuitively).

• And now, go back and eliminate the red dot items. In some cases, all you have to do is cross them off the list or delete them from your planner. There are some appointments and tasks that are completely self-selected and their cancellation doesn’t have any impact on anyone else – so you can just go right in there and get rid of those. Really.

As you determine what needs to be erased, deleted, or ruled out from your planner, take the steps to make it happen. You don’t want to have one more task of “Oh, brother. I need to call him.” Or “Dang, I need to get off this committee and I better let the chair know.” Just make the call, send the email, do what you need to do. It’s such a relief.

Truly, put this into practice and see if you aren’t more productive.

This is one of those times that it will be worth printing and posting these ideas so that you have the questions as ready reminders:

1. Is what I am doing right now the best use of my time? If you are in business, then you better make sure this is a question you are asking yourself throughout your day. You need to make sure you know what the “best” use of your time is or this question is of no value. If you’re not sure, hire a coach to help you figure it out.

2. Is part of my day – everyday – spent working through my strengths? If it’s not, you are not only not very productive but ultimately, you’re not going to be very happy.

3. Do I gain satisfaction from what I do? It’s your life. Why would you work at a job that doesn’t provide satisfaction?

4. Am I appreciated for the work that I do? If you do great work and you aren’t getting appreciated, it’s time to take a look at why you aren’t. Maybe your colleagues and boss need a little encouragement to make sure people feel appreciated. Or, maybe you work in a toxic environment and it’s time to get out.

5. Is at least 80% of my time spent with people who are positive (vs. negative)? You can change your percentage even higher (I do), but at least, get to 80% if you’re below that now. You may have to add more positive people or remove the negative ones to get to this percentage, but do so, regardless.

6. Have I expressed my gratitude today? My suggestion would be to express it out loud to individuals and internally to yourself and out there…to the Universe.

7. Am I drinking enough water? Note: If you are thirsty, the answer is no. Recently, I heard that we all need to drink 1/2 ounce for each pound of our body weight. So, that’s a starting point for you…(and me).

8. Who is my ideal client (and am I working with that person)? I know, this is two questions – and they are essential questions to ask and answer.

9. Am I paid commensurate with the value I provide? Talk to your boss, get a different job, or if you work for yourself, see what changes you need to make so that they answer is a resounding YES!

10. If my house were paid off, every loan I owed were paid, I owed no money on credit cards, and I had health insurance guaranteed for life, would I still keep doing what I’m doing?

Answer these truthfully today and everyday. Make any changes that seem to be warranted. It really is YOUR life.

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