If the reason you are tense is because you are worried, here’s a tried and true idea that you may need to revisit if you’ve tried it before, or test it out for yourself if you never have before.

To make, use, and benefit from a “Worry Jar”…

1. You need to have a physical worry jar and it can be a can, large jar, box, basket…whatever.

2. Label it for what it is, i.e., Worry Jar (Worry Basket, Worry Box).

3. Write down every single thing you are worried about. It can be gigantic events like global warming, economic crashes, raging fires in your community, floods, plagues, locusts…whatever. Big stuff you are worried about.

You may very well have medium-sized things you are worried about, e.g., whether your child gets into the college she wants, whether your grant proposal that funds a portion of your salary will get funded, whether your spouse will have an affair (you can see that I have not escaped the news lately), if your house will be finished on schedule, etc.

And then there are the smaller items such as, a new haircut turning out right, if you picked out the right card for your mother, whether or not the shoes you just bought are going to match the jacket you hoped that they would that is currently at the cleaners so you can’t look at it right now, if you are going to run out of milk before the next time you go to Costco to buy the double gallon pack. etc.

Hey, we all worry about myriad items…I know.

So just write it ALL down. Any and all things about which you are worrying.

4. Now, put all if these individual items in the jar so that they can be there when you need them.

5. Once a week, get out every single one of your little pieces of paper and sort them into 4 piles:

1. Didn’t even happen.
2. Happened and I survived the consequences.
3. Happened and I didn’t survive the consequences.
4. Still worried about it.

Put the ones from the last pile back in the jar. Well, I guess if you have something in #3, then you won’t be able to do anything with any of them, right….

I’m serious…there are many versions of using a worry jar…and the idea works. It helps us gain some perspective. If your tension is arising from your worries, try out the worry jar.

Doc Childre of HeartMath® said:

Managing our emotions increases intuition and clarity. It helps us self-regulate our brain chemicals and internal hormones. It gives us natural highs, the real fountain of youth we’ve been searching for. It enables us to drink from elixirs lock[ed within our cells, just waiting for us to discover them. 

How do you know if you have no emotional energy pockets?

It is different for all of us but here are some commonalities among human beings:

• We feel drained and we will often say, “I’m just emotionally exhausted.”

• We feel depleted and tapped out emotionally.

• We either react in a hyper-emotional way or a hypo-emotional way to particular events. The emotional response is out of kilter with the event. That’s a clue.

• We are short-tempered with people we care about and with ‘everyday’ people.

• We feel depressed (although others may be noticing and we aren’t).

• We….you add your own here.

What do you need to do to create some emotional energy pockets? You will have to answer for yourself, but if I may I make some suggestions…

1. Disconnect from anyone you can who sucks the energy right out of you. It does not give you a pocket yet, but it at least stops some of the ‘outflow’ of energy. You can choose to disconnect for a short time or you can disconnect forever. I recommend the latter in nearly every case.

2. Open up some emotional space (that’s the pocket) where you give yourself what you need. If you need time alone, get that time alone. If you need time to laugh with someone, set up that time. If you need to call someone who loves you no matter what, call him or her. Just tell them what’s going on and let them minister to you.

3. Imagine yourself enfolded in a cocoon. You are protected. It is not that you can not breathe and it is not that you can’t grow, but you are protected while you gain some strength.

4. Trust your inner self, your intuition, to direct you. As Andrea Hess says, your intuition is like a radio station playing softly in the background, and if we just listen more carefully, it is not that what is playing is unfamiliar because it has been playing softly in the background for awhile. It is just that now, we are listening. Tune in and see what your SELF tells you.

5. Get a massage. Massages are fascinating because although most people go to get a massage because they have a physical need, they end up getting emotional (and other) benefits as well.

6. Get some sleep. Our bodies, minds, and souls need sleep. Make arrangements to get some sleep – for many nights in a row. One night of good sleep is not enough to replenish your emotional energy pockets – and even many nights are just part of what you will need if you have become significantly depleted emotionally.

When you are emotionally sapped, i.e., when all your “pockets” are gone, then you are unable to be fully present personally or professionally. No one is served when your stress and exhaustion have taken their toll.

There are thousands of people who will be reading this post. I know we have people reading who have one drawer (and only one drawer) that is a little over-stuffed and that clutter stresses them out. It may not be necessary for them to repeat this process.

However!  For everyone else, you can identify with some version of the following:

• you have a whole desk that needs decluttering – or  

• maybe you have an entire office that has gotten out of hand – or  

• maybe your garage is a stressor on your relationships because no one can park a car in there and no one can find anything that is ‘stored’ in the garage – or  

• maybe the department where you work has a ‘storage room’ that has become a junk room and with the budget cuts, you need to make sure every spare pen, ream of paper, box of rubber bands is used before ordering any more and you have a sneaking suspicion there are actually supplies ‘stored’ in the storage room so you need to get in there and get it squared away.

Very few of us have only one tiny area that needs decluttering (and that we need to de-stress over). That’s why you have to ’rinse and repeat’ whatever practices you put into play when you are getting rid of clutter. You will need to toss, clean, resist getting ‘new’ junk, over and over until you have removed all the detritus, all the unused, all the unloved and unneeded items from your space. It may take a few days to do this or it may take months. Either way, it’s worth the effort.

Remember, your goal is peaceful, predictable productivity and by decreasing your clutter you can decrease your stress and move closer to your positive place of being energized by your work and home instead of dragged down by the stress.  Expect a journey to that goal.  I’ve been on that journey for over 20 years now…and I wouldn’t have persisted if I didn’t know it made a difference. 

And you are invited to learn more from the full-color Get a Plan! Guide(R) to Ridding Your Workspace of Clutter to REALLY get going on decluttering.  This special Get a Plan! Guide(R) will give you (and others with whom you work) suggestions and motivation to start de-cluttering your workspace (and even your home).

Can you change some of the events that are currently stressing you out?  Are there others over which you really have no control or even any influence?   Hmmm…it might be time to consider what belongs in the various categories for you.

To help you visualize the idea we’re talking about in this article, just draw a series of 4 interlocking circles that go from right to left across a piece of paper you have turned sideways, i.e., landscape. Label each circle thusly:

Total Control -> Significant Impact -> Some Influence -> Zero Control

Take a look at the third circle and label it as ‘Some Influence’ on your Venn diagram.  What belongs here are those people, situations, activities, thoughts, etc. over which you have…yes, ‘some influence,’ but not any control.  Make a list now for each of the following – i.e, a list of those where you may have some influence (vs. control):

• People

• Situations

• Activities

• Thoughts

• Responsibilities

• Other

I hope you stopped yourself before you wrote down some of your first ideas in these categories.  For example, if you thought, ‘Well, the situation with the stock market is really upsetting me,’ but then you realized that you have essentially no control over that – and essentially no influence.  So, there’s no sense to continue worrying about it, right?  I know this is easier said than done.    

Recognize that your influence may be felt in myriad ways.  For example, 

1. Let’s say the plight of women in underdeveloped countries weighs on your mind constantly. You read about it, worry about it, talk about it, and just feel a heaviness about it nearly constantly. You don’t have complete control over what happens and while you could make choices that would allow you to have significant impact on certain women, realistically, this is something you could classify in the ‘Some Influence’ category. You could write articles, write letters, post on blogs to bring the untenable situation these women are in. Think about what Nicholas Kristoff does in this area, for example, in his writing for the New York Times. Or, you could donate money that would make a difference. You could pray. You could engage in many different practices that would influence what is happening in this area

2. Another example of something that would be in the ‘Some Influence’ circle would be your distress over some of the actions and decisions of people in government. You can’t control that and in most cases, you can’t make a Significant Impact, but you can exert Some Influence. Whether it’s by voting, voicing your opinion, appearing on various shows, energizing your neighbors, writing, or many other options. Recognize that you will have some influence when you do this, but it’s not under your control.

As an adult, particularly as an adult who wants to maximize productivity and contribution to the world, figuring out where you can influence what is happening is crucial.  Do some thinking on this and recognize whether you might have been spending some time unproductively trying to ‘make’ something happen (or ‘make someone change’ – ha! We know how well that works).  Instead, exert your influence – and make a difference where you can. 

As a leader, do you want to be considered a lion – or a sheep? I think I know the answer, but in case you need any additional encouragement, consider these characteristics of sheep:

1. Timid, fearful, easily panicked

Hmm…are these words that you want to be used to describe you? Timidity in the face of today’s challenges doesn’t seem like the attribute we want to be displaying as leaders.

2. Dumb, stupid, gullible

Clearly, the sheep characteristic of being stupid or gullible is one to eschew. 

3. Stampede easily, vulnerable to mob psychology

Oh, my goodness. Look at this one. I think all of us are seeing examples of sheep all around us. All you have to do is turn on the news and see the mob psychology that is going on. But let’s think about the workplace or other places where you spend substantial amounts of time. It only takes a few to get everyone else worked up. With universities – as just one example – taking tremendous cuts, many faculty and staff are taking on the group’s mentality instead of seeking out their own mentality. 

4. Little or no means of self-defense; can only run

Sheep have no means of self-defense, so of course they run. As a leader, you are stronger than that and you do have means of self-defense – from negativity or other difficult situations.

5. Easily killed by enemies

Although this characteristic of sheep applies to completely killing the animal, for us, let’s consider that we don’t want to be figuratively killed off. We don’t want to lose our focus, our drive, our heart, our purpose, our intent, our strength, or any of the rest of what makes us who we are. Sadly, I talk with people sometimes who say, “I’ve lost my way,” or “I just feel dead inside,” or other similar phrasing. As leaders, you need to keep your focus and intent.

6. Jealous, competitive for dominance

Envy and jealousy are two of the less-attractive emotions. Domination is never particularly attractive either. So that’s all I’m going to say here.

7. Easily “cast” that is, flipped over on their back, sometimes from too much wool. Sheep are unable to right themselves and will die of starvation if not turned over by shepherd.

WOW…this is a very interesting one, I think. Sheep can be flipped over and then can’t get back up without the shepherd turning them back over. Helpless.

8. Need the most care of all livestock

Can we say, “Needy?” A “needy” leader. Not a pleasant image, is it? If you are high-maintenance, that might be considered sheep-like. Baaaa…

Leaders need to be lion-like rather than sheep-like. I know you know that, but if you need encouragement,

Money clutter is something that not many people talk about. Business owners will admit to paper clutter, digital clutter, mental clutter, but they rarely talk about money clutter. It’s time that we did because it can at least as debilitating to your business as the other types of clutter (which you also need to deal with, by the way!).

Here are 7 steps to get you going on dealing with your money clutter, particularly in the area of credit cards.

1. Make a list of all of your credit cards. Put the information in an Excel spread sheet or a Word doc table or any other easy to organize software (or even use paper and pencil!) Just make a list.

2. Note the balance due on each card currently.

3. Note the closing date for each account (not the due date for paying each month’s bill. Note: You can delegate this to your bookkeeper or other assistant if you want, but there is some value in YOU making this list and these determination. It’s your business, right?

4. Put the date that each account closes into your calendar, planner, tickler system, or some other means that lets you know that your account is now ready to be paid. Note: If you have all of your accounts set up to pay automatically electronically and to pay the amount in full each month, then you have nothing to worry about here. This tip is for the person who cannot always pay the full amount each month and so waits to see what is due and how much is in the account before deciding what to pay. This is clutter, by the way.

5. Line up all your cards (on your chart) so that they are organized by the one with the smallest balance at the top and the largest balance at the bottom. These should be easy to do using the sort function in your table or spread sheet.

6. If you have any credit card debt that you are unable to pay off each month, pay the minimum on all of your credit cards (or other loans) – but that’s not all I’m going to say, so keep reading.

7. Pay as much extra on whatever is the smallest card balance so that you can pay that one off. The idea is that if you have 5 or 10 (or more) credit cards, you want to begin paying them off one by one until you have only one or two main credit cards for work and you pay each one of them off completely, each month. Note: When you pay off one of the credit cards from early in your list, stop carrying it. Don’t cancel it, just stop having it available to continue adding to.

When you have reduced your credit card debt to a manageable monthly pay-off, you will have reduced your money clutter significantly.  Test these 7 steps and see what happens for you.

Write down a problem that you have been trying to deal with (or that you’ve ignored) in your business.

I’ll wait.

OK. I’ll assume you have that written down. Now, change the wording of that problem into a question.

I’ll wait.

OK. I will assume that you now have a great question posed. You want a question that is begging for an answer. You don’t have to write it already knowing the answer…you just have to write it as if you expect an answer (from somewhere, anywhere!)

Now you go to the really fun part, which is generating at least 30 responses to whatever the question is that you asked. Just number a piece of paper, put your question at the top and start writing.

I am quite sure that you might be thinking, “Oh, brother, Meggin. Are you nuts? I can’t come up with 30 ideas, answers, alternatives, ways, or any other label for this question. That’s impossible.”

Actually, no, it’s not impossible. Pretty much the first 12, 13, 14 or so ideas that you or your team generate are the ones you need to get out of the way to allow the really good ones to come through. So often, we stop right about the 12 -15 mark (if we even get that far). And while the real answer MIGHT be in that group, if you don’t push past that, you won’t really know. I can literally feel a shift when I blast through the first easy ones. It’s quite interesting and fascinating (and very cool). Dee Hock said,

The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.

This activity is one way to do this. Start writing and feel free to blast right past the 30 mark. There is nothing magical about 30 and certainly should not be seen as an upper limit. I just needed to give you a target that was well past the dozen where you’re likely to write the standard responses. You need and want to get to the newer, fresher, more creative ideas.

So just write. Don’t stop. Don’t think you’ve exhausted the answers. As long as you have working brain cells, there are more ideas.

NOW you have some ideas and solutions to choose from. I believe with my whole heart, that there are no problems that cannot be solved through people putting their creative minds to work.

Join me in that belief and in living that way.

When you see that a magazine or a website has ‘before and after’ pictures, don’t you always want to check that out first?  We all love to see what someone looked like ‘before’ and what that person looks like ‘after.’ 

What about the sheer number of shows on TV that show what a house, room, garage, car, or building looked like ‘before’ and what it looks like ‘after’?  This is a pretty good indication that we are fascinated with change and we love to see the difference.  At the end of such shows, the producer never just displays the ‘new and improved’ version, but always contrasts it with the ‘old and not-so-great’ version.  Even though you got to see that at the beginning, your mind doesn’t remember how bad it actually was, so you can’t appreciate the phenomenal difference in what was accomplished – until you get to compare the old and new versions, side by side.

When you are cleaning, clearing, and decluttering, you want to take before and after pictures.  Here’s why:

1. You want proof for yourself of what you’ve done.

2. You want a reminder of why you never want to go ‘back’ to the cluttered mess you are starting with. 

3. You may be able to use the pictures as documentation for expenditures you are making to get yourself organized, thus being able to write off the expenses (and showing how the money was spent and WHY!)

It’s really quite remarkable when you view the changes you make when you start tossing, sorting, and organizing.  Your  brain doesn’t keep the true image of how bad an area was – but a digital picture will.  Don’t deprive yourself of the satisfaction of seeing the growth you’ve made. 

Note:  You don’t have to show your pictures to anyone – but you want to have them for yourself.  And hey, maybe you want to post them on your Facebook page for all to see and appreciate!

Human beings love to achieve…to set goals and to reach those goals. It’s motivating. Use that to your advantage when you are cleaning, clearing, decluttering – and of course, destressing.

Make a VOW to rid yourself of a certain amount, number, or percentage of your ‘stuff,’ whether your stuff is books, papers, files, cans, emails, stuffed animals, or anything else that is cluttering up your mental or physical space.

VOW is an acronym for:

• Visualize

• Orally Commit

• Work through the obstacles

Let’s explore this acronym…

You may be one of the people reading this post who has a wall (or several walls) of books in your home or office. You know perfectly well that it’s time to move some of them out – whether it’s to make room for more books, to make room for other items, or just to create space, which is a SUPERB reason.

You could VOW to get rid of 2 books (a goal involving a number) everyday for 100 days.

• First, you’d Visualize what it would look like to get rid of 200 books.

• Then, you’d Orally commit to doing so. You could tell a colleague, your students, someone in your family, or your coach. You need to say it out loud so you hear yourself making the commitment. This helps to get the idea and the commitment into your brain.

• Then, you Work through the obstacles. Obstacles might be where you’d find the time to get rid of two everyday; the fear that as soon as you get rid of a book, you’d wish you had it; the worry that stuff will fall down if you start taking out books; and so forth. Since only smart people read these articles, I’ll bet once you name these obstacles, you can work through them. If not, let someone help you. Humans also love to help others.

Another VOW (involving a percentage) that you might make could involve your acknowledgement of the research that indicates that 80-90% of what is in the average professional’s file cabinet will never be used again…so you could VOW to recycle or shred at least 50% of what is in your file cabinet.

An example of a VOW involving an amount could be determining that as you declutter (and then destress about your laundry room/pantry) is that you will fill two average-size grocery bags with food you’ll never eat, containers that you don’t need, or whatever else can be removed from that space.

Human beings love measurable goals. Use that proclivity to your advantage by VOWing to get rid of a particular number, amount, or percentage of something as you reduce your clutter and the experience the concomitant reduction in your stress.

And you are invited to access the full-color Get a Plan! Guide(R) to Ridding Your Workspace of Clutter to REALLY get going on decluttering.  This special Get a Plan! Guide(R) will give you (and others with whom you work) suggestions and motivation to start de-cluttering your workspace (and even your home).

It is not just the big things that need to be eliminated in order to reduce stress. You may need to get rid of those extra Cool Whip tubs that fall out of your cabinet every time you open the drawer. You will be surprised by what is on this list. How about starting to eliminate your stress by getting rid of:

1. A ratty planner. Go out and buy one that you love – right now!

2. Ugly decorations for any holiday. Less is more.

3. Irritating sounds (try noise canceling headphones – the technology is amazing).

4. Unnecessarily long meetings (be sure to announce the time you’ll be leaving at the beginning of the meeting).

5. Paying bills by writing checks (and addressing envelopes and putting stamps on). On-line banking and bill paying is fast, easy and secure.

6. Waiting in line at the post office to buy stamps. Please. You have better things to do.

7. Old prescription eyeglasses. The glasses you have from 3, 4, 5+ prescriptions ago…have got to go (and can be dropped off at your eye doctor’s or the Lion’s Club to be given someone who needs them).

8. Returning low-dollar items. If you bought it at the dollar store and it’s defective, fagetaboutit! Depending on your income bracket, you might choose never to return anything….just give it away.

9. Gadgets that don’t work (can openers, VCRs, etc.). All they do is bug you. Get rid of them!

10. Gadgets that you never use (Ron Popeil and other info-mercial kings have single-handedly contributed to the need for this listing!).

11. Plastic tubs in your kitchen (you have Rubbermaid, Tupperware, and so forth a-plenty…so why do you need 35 Cool Whip tubs?).

12. Anything past its expiration date (medicine, spices, contact solutions, canned goods, mayonnaise, etc.).

13. Habits that you obsess over.

14. Emails. Not all email….but if you have hundreds or thousands of emails in your inbox, sent items, deleted items, or some other “items” folder….you are not being peacefully, predictably productive. Start eliminating.

15. Phone books. What in the world do you need phone books for? MAYBE keep one but, for heaven’s sake. Get rid of all the others. They are big and cumbersome and just in the way.

If you can get rid of one of these today, you are making progress. Start working toward eliminating at least one each week for the next 15 weeks and you will much less stress in just four months from now. Hooray for you!!

Please comment on what you want to eliminate – and the difference it makes for you!!  We’re interested