“Negative interactions have 5 times the effect on mood than positive interactions” (p. 180). You can probably think of some negative interactions that have taken a toll on you. Here’s a personal example:

Once upon a time, I had a relationship that was pretty darn close to the most powerful one I have ever had in my life. It went really bad at the end. It took me seven years to forgive that person. I decided I wanted to ask for her forgiveness, even though I wasn’t sure what I had done that I needed to be forgiven for. However, I figured I wanted her to forgive me and so we met for dinner and with absolute sincerity, I asked her to forgive me. She said she would accept my apology. Then she just sat there. She did not say, “And Meggin, I would also like to apologize.” I kind of thought that might be coming, but it didn’t. She didn’t say anything and I was surprised and somewhat taken aback. But when I got back to my hotel room that night I thought, ‘Wow, my hostility toward her is over.’ It had been a remarkable amount of self-inflicted negative energy that I had stirred up for too many years. Once I was able to ask her to forgive me, then I was able to release that energy drain.

The lesson I learned from the experience was this: We need to take a look at whether we are holding onto old negative energy. Hostility is old anger. For over 7 years, I had toted around that old anger (hostility) and what a waste of energy. I was draining it right out of myself. And I wonder what ‘ucky’ stuff I then ‘put out there’ for others during this same time period?

Think about the emotions that you want to have in your life and in your space. Part of what you may have to do is to make room for them by minimizing whatever is draining your energy (and negative stuff definitely drains your energy).

Take the following steps and see what difference it can make for you:

• Ask and answer: Whose responsibility is it to remove the “energy drainers” in your life? It is not 100% under your control…but it’s extraordinary how much of it is.
• Identify those people, places, activities, tasks, etc., that drain your energy.
• One at a time, minimize your contact, interaction, involvement, or time invested with those ‘drainers.’
• Teach others what you’ve learned.
• Relish your responsibility for what is happening in your own life.

We all need less negative energy and more positive energy in our little lives and in our big Life.

You are invited to access more helpful (sometimes gentle and sometimes not-so-gentle) suggestions for how to keep from being OVERwhelmed or UNDERwhelmed, but instead to be ‘just whelmed.’ There’s a whole community (worldwide) who receive Meggin’s weekly emails (free!) at

**I Want to Be Just Whelmed (http://www.JustWhelmed.com)

If you would prefer quick, short weekly tips, then the follow site is another place to find suggestions and other tools to support you in your quest for peaceful productivity:

**Top Ten Productivity Tips (http://www.TopTenProductivityTips.com)

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!