It is not just the big things that need to be eliminated in order to reduce stress. You may need to get rid of those extra Cool Whip tubs that fall out of your cabinet every time you open the drawer. You will be surprised by what is on this list. How about starting to eliminate your stress by getting rid of:

1. A ratty planner. Go out and buy one that you love – right now!

2. Ugly decorations for any holiday. Less is more.

3. Irritating sounds (try noise canceling headphones – the technology is amazing).

4. Unnecessarily long meetings (be sure to announce the time you’ll be leaving at the beginning of the meeting).

5. Paying bills by writing checks (and addressing envelopes and putting stamps on). On-line banking and bill paying is fast, easy and secure.

6. Waiting in line at the post office to buy stamps. Please. You have better things to do.

7. Old prescription eyeglasses. The glasses you have from 3, 4, 5+ prescriptions ago…have got to go (and can be dropped off at your eye doctor’s or the Lion’s Club to be given someone who needs them).

8. Returning low-dollar items. If you bought it at the dollar store and it’s defective, fagetaboutit! Depending on your income bracket, you might choose never to return anything….just give it away.

9. Gadgets that don’t work (can openers, VCRs, etc.). All they do is bug you. Get rid of them!

10. Gadgets that you never use (Ron Popeil and other info-mercial kings have single-handedly contributed to the need for this listing!).

11. Plastic tubs in your kitchen (you have Rubbermaid, Tupperware, and so forth a-plenty…so why do you need 35 Cool Whip tubs?).

12. Anything past its expiration date (medicine, spices, contact solutions, canned goods, mayonnaise, etc.).

13. Habits that you obsess over.

14. Emails. Not all email….but if you have hundreds or thousands of emails in your inbox, sent items, deleted items, or some other “items” folder….you are not being peacefully, predictably productive. Start eliminating.

15. Phone books. What in the world do you need phone books for? MAYBE keep one but, for heaven’s sake. Get rid of all the others. They are big and cumbersome and just in the way.

If you can get rid of one of these today, you are making progress. Start working toward eliminating at least one each week for the next 15 weeks and you will much less stress in just four months from now. Hooray for you!!

Please comment on what you want to eliminate – and the difference it makes for you!!  We’re interested

Are you an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person? Do you have some tasks, responsibilities, or projects that you have been procrastinating? I will assume that since you are still reading that the answer is yes to both.

If you have a mental list of items that you are procrastinating, I first recommend that you get them out of your head and on to a piece of paper (or into a document on your computer). Either way, get a list – and then we will work on that list.

I want you to look over your list of procrastinated tasks (projects, etc.) and deliberately, mindfully, and purposefully DECIDE to ask for help on at least one of them. I’ll wait right here while you are doing that.

There are two ways to think about this:

1. Sometimes, you need to ask someone else to help you by doing a particular task, errand, or other commitment and

2. Sometimes, you need to ask someone to handle sometime that you have been handling so that YOU can then complete or make progress on one of your procrastinated items.

For example, let’s say you are procrastinating getting several articles finished – all of which you need to get written and published if you are going to be able to confidently go up for tenure. The help you need to ask for is that your significant other get himself and the kids out of the house with minimum muss and fuss for at least 4 hours every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. That’s the help you need.

In another case, you have been procrastinating cleaning out the garage. You ask a teenager to come over and help you. You are happy to contribute to this young person’s financial well-being if he will help you get things down out of the rafters, off top shelves, and out of various garage nooks and crannies. And, you will be so happy to have him haul things away to a dumpster, Goodwill, recycling places, etc. when the sifting and sorting are complete. You are not delegating out the garage cleaning – you are asking for the help you need so that you can clean out the garage.

Go through your list now and determine the items where you need to deliberately ask for help. Put the name of the person you will be asking for help. The idea here is to think about the ones you’re procrastinating just because you need some kind of help with getting it done.

Here’s a secret: People are glad to help. They are especially glad to help if you have come across as an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person. I know this from experience.

Here’s another secret: It is hard to ask for help if you have been an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person – and it gets easier. I know this from experience.

You may have noticed something that I’ve noticed:  Some of the people we are around who are the most negative appear not to be thankful for one single thing. And I have to believe that there is not a person alive who is unable to find something for which to be thankful. What always strikes me are the people who ‘seem’ to have nothing…and yet, they may demonstrate gratitude on a regular basis. Seems we might learn from that.

None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.  ~Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

What a great lesson this is, particularly in these times where many are fearing or experiencing bankruptcy. We can feel wealthy through our gratitude, and to share another quote related to the monetary aspect, Frank A. Clark says, “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” Ponder that one.

Now, here’s a fact: Because too few people display gratitude, when you do, others will be affected and possibly astonished by it. Although this is sad that authentic gratitude is shown too seldom, you can absolutely make someone else’s day – and your day – more positive by clearly and thoughtfully expressing your gratitude.

Now, if you consider the five levels of gratitude to be accept, appreciate, articulate, acknowledge, and affirm/admire, then take a look at the examples below of how you might express gratitude at each of these levels.  

1. Accept – “Thank you.”  

2. Appreciate - “Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly.”  

3. Articulate - “Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly. We are not just on schedule, we are ahead of schedule and the citizens of our city will know that we are using their resources carefully and prudently.”  

4. Acknowledge - ”Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly. We are not just on schedule, we are ahead of schedule and the citizens of our city will know that we are using their resources carefully and prudently. I know this was one of many tasks you needed to handle this week – each of which is important. Again, thank you.”  

5. Affirm/Admire - “Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly. We are not just on schedule, we are ahead of schedule and the citizens of our city will know that we are using their resources carefully and prudently. I know this was one of many tasks you needed to handle this week – each of which is important. Somehow, no matter what is happening around you and how many demands are put on you, you handle it with aplomb (a-plum) and grace. I admire that quality because it’s not yet one I have. Again, thank you.”

Hmmm…now, you probably noticed that each of these got a little bit longer. And you may think, ‘Hello!? I don’t have time for that.’ I timed myself and it takes 25 seconds to say the last one – with significant pauses.  Frankly, if we have reached a point where we don’t have time at least a few times a day for 15-25 second displays of authentic gratitude, then our world has really become freaked out.  

If it matters to you whether you are able to stay positive in a freaked-out world, you’re invited to be part of the Staying Positive Society – www.StayingPositiveinaFreakedOutWorld.com.  Join us there. 

• If someone, who didn’t know you – i.e., a stranger – looked at your planner right now, what would s/he deduce?
• If a stranger looked at your desk right now, what would s/he determine?
• If a person you’ve never met before looked at your office, classroom, lab space right now, what would s/he know about you just from this observation?
• If I a person you did not know was listening to you talk about your day, what would he/she hear and deduce from listening?

Take a look at the list below. Write down these various points and then answer the question, “What might a stranger know about you from…”

1. Your schedule?
2. Your relationships?
3. Your planning?
4. Your work space?
5. Your computer?
6. Your email?
7. Your weekends?
8. Your ‘you’ time?
9. Your __________

Remember, you are looking through a stranger’s eyes, not your own, when you answer these questions.

Did you Learn Anything from This Exercise?

This is an incredibly powerful exercise, if you use it. It is not an easy one, but it is worthwhile enough that I truly want you to take (make) the time you need to use the prompts listed above. What would someone, who didn’t know you, had never met you, didn’t lead your life or a life like yours…know from just observing?

Do You Like What the “Stranger” Would See?

Essentially all of us have blind spots and it takes looking through someone else’s eyes to ‘see’ those blind spots. Sometimes, of course, it’s someone’s children that provide the big “A-Ha!) Other times it’s a, uh, discussion(!?) with one’s partner or spouse the gives you the insight.

Let’s just imagine that there were one or more messages that a stranger would give you about your time, values, focus, etc. that didn’t quite match the life, values, priorities, etc. that you want to be living and demonstrating…

And if you would like to learn strategies for being ‘just whelmed,’ then you’re invited to join others (worldwide) who receive Meggin’s weekly strategies (free!) at:

**I Want to Be Just Whelmed http://www.JustWhelmed.com

(c) 2010 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin works with bright people who want to be more productive, thereby keeping their emphasis on excellence. It’s a blast!

What is the one thing you can do TODAY that would help you get closer to alignment with what you envision for yourself, your life, your family, your career? Just one can start to make the difference.

1. Overwhelmed
2. Underwhelmed, and
3. Just Whelmed

Be very clear on the fact that you are the only person who can distinguish between and among these three for yourself. Each person has a different tolerance overall…and that tolerance also varies depending on what else is going on in a person’s life. Take a look at the definitions below.  As you read through each of these sets of definitions, think about what other words you would add to what is already there? Make each definition your own by adding phrases, words, ideas that apply to you and your situation.

Overwhelmed:

overcome, engulfed, flooded, inundated, overpowered, swamped, frantic, frenetic, shut-down, out of control, crazed, anxious, and…

Underwhelmed:

frustrated, disappointed, discomfited, lethargic, unfocused, bored, and…

Just Whelmed:

productive, energized, jazzed, “in the zone,” challenged, and…

Create a little chart for yourself.  Just make 3 columns or 3 boxes (or whatever format works best for you). Label the 3 sections with “overwhelmed,” “underwhelmed,” and “just whelmed.”  You can then use this chart for the whole week or you can make one for each day; it’s up to you.

Observe yourself moving from one state of being to another and notate it on your chart when it happens. What you’re looking for are patterns in these shifts. For example, do shifts happen:

• at certain times of the day?
• around some people?
• with particular tasks?
• when you’re too hungry? or
• a myriad of other possibilities…

Keep an eye on what is happening and see if you can tell why it might be happening. You’re smart (that’s always the assumption I make). Smart people notice patterns if they’re paying attention. I’m just asking you to pay attention this week. 

Henry Ward Beecher said,

We sleep, but the loom of life never stops, and the pattern
which was weaving when the sun went down is weaving
when it comes up in the morning.

There are patterns in your life related to so many things…but this week, just notice the patterns that are there as you move between and among overwhelm, underwhelm, and “just whelmed.”  And if you would like to continue learning about these three different levels of ‘whelm,’  then the following sites are places to find suggestions and other tools to support you in your quest for peaceful productivity:

** I Just Want to be Whelmed (http://www.justwhelmed.com)

**Top Ten Productivity Tips (http://www.TopTenProductivityTips.com)

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!

Let’s imagine the ‘you’ on the left screen is the most relaxed, together ‘you’ (and we all have that person in us).  On the other screen is the most crazed ‘you’ (and we all have that person, too).  Choose one event that occured recently that put you in that crazed state.  You already know what conversation was happening on that side of the screen.  Now, have that conversation from the other side of the screen, where the calm, together, ‘just whelmed’ person is; what is she/he saying?  Write that out as needed.  My guess is that it’s very different from what you’d write out if you scripted the crazed person on the other part of the split screen.

So, try approaching various events from your calm self and see what s/he has to recommend and say to you.  Much nicer, more affirming, more in control…that’s my guess.

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed – it is a process of elimination. (Elbert)

So what do you need to ‘chip away’ that is currently introducing or exacerbating the complexity in your life (and thus, the overwhelm)?  You might consider one or more of the following categories as you think about places where you can make the choices to introduce easier (rather than harder) into your life. 

1. Technology
2. Personal maintenance (hair, makeup, nails, clothing)
3. “Stuff”/possessions
4. Meals/food
5. Yard/garden

Let’s just look at this last category.  Depending on where you live, if you have a yard and/or garden, you can turn the maintenance of it into a full-time job, an overwhelming responsibility, a burdensome task, a dreaded weekly chore – OR, you can simplify it by any of following means:

• Hire someone else to do all the maintenance – year-round.
• Delegate out the portions of it that are most overwhelming to you.
• Xeriscape it so that there are only small pieces that you will have to maintain.
• Find out which plants (trees, shrubs, flowers, grass, etc.) are low-maintenance. 
• Decide that yards are meant to be enjoyed not fretted over.  It’s a mindshift for some people – but it can be a way to release much of the stress.

So, this week, observe yourself – and those around you – and notice the times where something has become more difficult than it needs to be.  Begin to minimize the complexity by the choices you make. 

And if the complexity of your everyday life is just one area that overwhelms you – and you would like to be ‘just whelmed,’ then you’re invited to join others (worldwide) who receive Meggin’s weekly emails (free!) at **I Want to Be Just Whelmed (http://www.JustWhelmed.com)

If you would prefer quick, short weekly tips, then the following site is another place to find suggestions and other tools to support you in your quest for peaceful productivity: **Top Ten Productivity Tips (http://www.TopTenProductivityTips.com)

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!

Believe me, I am not going to suggest ‘extreme simplifying,’ i.e., selling all of your worldly possessions, quitting your job, moving to the woods without any type of power, and then just living off nature. I promise…not even close. I am going to suggest minor and – depending on your situation – major shifts that you can make that will reduce the overwhelm because it eliminates some of the choices.

The complexity of your life (and the overwhelm that accompanies it) didn’t just appear in the blink of an eye. Your life has grown gradually more complex, layer by layer, task by task, responsibility by responsibility. You can begin to reduce that complexity gradually until you’ve peeled it back to a point where you are ‘just whelmed.’

So, today, observe yourself – and those around you – and notice the times where something has become more difficult than it needs to be.  Begin to minimize the complexity by the choices you make.   Read tomorrow’s post for more specifics

And if the complexity of your everyday life is just one area that overwhelms you – and you would like to be ‘just whelmed,’ then you’re invited to join others (worldwide) who receive Meggin’s weekly emails (free!) at **I Want to Be Just Whelmed (http://www.JustWhelmed.com)

If you would prefer quick, short weekly tips, then the following site is another place to find suggestions and other tools to support you in your quest for peaceful productivity: **Top Ten Productivity Tips (http://www.TopTenProductivityTips.com)

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!

I’m sure you won’t be shocked to read that my recommendation for the first thing you have to do is know what it is that gives you energy in each of these categories

• People
• Events
• Tasks
• Thoughts
• Emotions
• Responsibilities
• Weather
• Places
• Activities
• Other

Now, answer this question: What/who do you look forward to, anticipate, feel excited about…relative to any or all of the categories listed? Tell the truth to yourself. You know the answers.  Actually write this out for yourself. 

For example, it is likely that there are people who are your ‘energy people.’  You look forward to seeing them, are excited to see them, and feel better after being around them. Who are your ‘energy people’? Call one of them right now and give yourself a little boost! 

I mean it…call him or her right now! 

And if not having enough energy is one of the areas that leads to feeling overwhelmed with life – and you would like to be ‘just whelmed,’ then you’re invited to join others (worldwide) who receive Meggin’s weekly emails (free!) at

**I Want to Be Just Whelmed (http://www.JustWhelmed.com)

If you would prefer quick, short weekly tips, then the following site is another place to find suggestions and other tools to support you in your quest for peaceful productivity:

**Top Ten Productivity Tips (http://www.TopTenProductivityTips.com)

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!

• There’s never enough time.
• Time is the enemy.
• I wish I had more time.
• Every second of my time is scheduled.
• Time will run out for me.
• I lose track and then I’m out of time.

How does it feel just reading these? Ugh.

…Time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you’ve wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow. ~ Denis Waitley

In tomorrow’s post, I’ll offer suggestions for how you can ‘reframe’ your view of time. 

Until then….if your view of time is just one area that overwhelms you – and you would like to be ‘just whelmed,’ then you’re invited to join others (worldwide) who receive Meggin’s weekly emails (free!) at

**I Want to Be Just Whelmed (http://www.JustWhelmed.com)

(c) 2009 by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D., “The Ph.D. of Productivity”(tm). Through her company, Emphasis on Excellence, Inc., Meggin McIntosh changes what people know, feel, dream, and do. Sound interesting? It is!