How can you stay in the present (mentally) – or get to the present? Here are 5 strategies:

1. Breathe. The idea is that you breathe in. Then you breathe out. This helps you to get centered – and somewhere I read that the space between breathing in and breathing out – that’s the present. So actually, right now, breathe. In. Out. In. Out. It’s amazing that we need to be reminded.

2. Stand up straight or sit up straight (if you are physically able to do so). Just pull your head up, straighten your spine, pull in your stomach, and of course, breathe. It’s interesting how making sure we are doing all of these behaviors just pulls us to the present. Apparently there is no chance of multi-minding when we are focused – just for a moment – on standing up straight, pulling our head up and our stomachs in – and, oh, yeah…breathing. Those four tasks take all our concentration and are sometimes enough to break us out of whatever past tense, future tense, or too tense thinking we were in just before.

3. Say, “One thing, right now.” It’s a calming phrase. It helps you to get centered again. “One thing, right now.” “One thing, right now.” “One thing, right now.” Say it over and over as needed. Let people around you know that if/when you get into a “state,” they might help you by saying, “One thing, right now.”

4. If you have an object that helps you focus on the present – then use that. It might be something physical, it might be a picture, it might be a quote. It’s whatever will calm your mind enough to focus on now – just now.

5. Make marmalade. This recommendation comes from D.H. Lawrence’s suggestion: “I got the blues thinking of the future, so I left off and made some marmalade. It’s amazing how it cheers one up to shred oranges and scrub the floor.” The idea, of course, is to take up an activity where you need to be focused. Making marmalade, doing repair, engaging in some kind of intricate work….all of these activities require your focus and that you be present. Figure out what your marmalade activity is.

I promised that these were simple – and they are. Yet, we often don’t apply simple solutions. Give one or more of these a try when you need to bring yourself back to NOW – and see if you aren’t more focused and much more peaceful, too.

What if you want to eat and snack in a healthy manner? Does that mean no more good stuff? And why should you care about this?

Snacking at work can be one of the biggest productivity downfalls for three reasons:

• We DON’T eat at all – and then because we’re starving, we eat half the house when we get home. That is never good. When you eat too much at night, you can’t go to bed comfortably to sleep, and then you toss and turn for hours and are less rested the following day.

• We don’t eat at all while we’re working and our blood sugar takes a dive, along with our mental capacity to think, problem-solve, write, teach, or whatever else we need to be doing. This is no good either!

• We eat goofy things (that’s a technical nutritional term) because they are around. In case you are wondering, pretty much if it comes out of a machine, it’s in the goofy category. Cheese crackers with peanut butter in them. Ugh, but they look tasty when you’re starving. Day-old muffins in the workroom that have hunks cut out of them. Lovely. If you’re scavenging, it’s not a good sign.

Use these two multi-faceted suggestions to eat smart, stay focused, and not turn into a scavenger. It is all much more productive and infinitely more attractive.

1. Fresh vegetables, including asparagus, broccoli, squash, and tomatoes – The list can go on and on here. Whatever is in season (and in many parts of the country, you can get “in season” vegetables that are shipped in from another part of the world – in any season. If you like to buy locally, then just stay alert for what is available. You may also choose to grow your own, especially in the summer. That is REALLY the best and the healthiest. It can be only minutes from garden to table so you’re losing no nutrients. As long as you don’t pile a ton of butter, oil, or other fats on top of your vegetables, you are in good shape. Taking raw or cooked vegetables to work with you as a snack will make you the envy of your co-workers. And, they will wish that they were also getting healthier instead of getting more run down and out of shape.

2. Pasta. Yum! Pasta is another one of the many foods that you might love that can be as tasty – or more tasty – by not loading it up with a bunch of heavy fats that you don’t really want. To tell the truth, plain pasta with nothing on it is good (especially when you are hungry!). Or you can add some fresh vegetables or a small amount of cheese or just some fresh-ground pepper and it tastes scumptious. Pasta is very filling and so then you are not hungry and wondering about the next items you’re going to eat.

So, what will you pack to take to work tomorrow?  I’d love for you to make comments below.  We’re interested in your suggestions!!

Are you an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person? Do you have some tasks, responsibilities, or projects that you have been procrastinating? I will assume that since you are still reading that the answer is yes to both.

If you have a mental list of items that you are procrastinating, I first recommend that you get them out of your head and on to a piece of paper (or into a document on your computer). Either way, get a list – and then we will work on that list.

I want you to look over your list of procrastinated tasks (projects, etc.) and deliberately, mindfully, and purposefully DECIDE to ask for help on at least one of them. I’ll wait right here while you are doing that.

There are two ways to think about this:

1. Sometimes, you need to ask someone else to help you by doing a particular task, errand, or other commitment and

2. Sometimes, you need to ask someone to handle sometime that you have been handling so that YOU can then complete or make progress on one of your procrastinated items.

For example, let’s say you are procrastinating getting several articles finished – all of which you need to get written and published if you are going to be able to confidently go up for tenure. The help you need to ask for is that your significant other get himself and the kids out of the house with minimum muss and fuss for at least 4 hours every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. That’s the help you need.

In another case, you have been procrastinating cleaning out the garage. You ask a teenager to come over and help you. You are happy to contribute to this young person’s financial well-being if he will help you get things down out of the rafters, off top shelves, and out of various garage nooks and crannies. And, you will be so happy to have him haul things away to a dumpster, Goodwill, recycling places, etc. when the sifting and sorting are complete. You are not delegating out the garage cleaning – you are asking for the help you need so that you can clean out the garage.

Go through your list now and determine the items where you need to deliberately ask for help. Put the name of the person you will be asking for help. The idea here is to think about the ones you’re procrastinating just because you need some kind of help with getting it done.

Here’s a secret: People are glad to help. They are especially glad to help if you have come across as an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person. I know this from experience.

Here’s another secret: It is hard to ask for help if you have been an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person – and it gets easier. I know this from experience.

Eric Hoffer said,

“A preoccupation with the future not only prevents us from seeing the present as it is but often prompts us to rearrange the past.”

When you are deciding where to ‘live’ – in the past, in the future, in the present (or some other cosmic option you might know about) living in the future, just like living in the past, robs us of the present.

Many people over the past year or so have felt a sense of fear, dismay, and negativity that seemed to sweep over people who normally didn’t become fearful and dismayed. This has caused many of us to do some intense thinking about this phenomenon. Let’s think about fear, just a bit.

If you are being chased by a mountain lion or a brown bear, you are afraid – and what you are afraid of, if you really think about it, is the future. It’s your picture, your vision, your imagining that you are going to get clawed, mauled, tossed around, or eaten. You feel fear now (and so would I), but that fear is really about something in the future.

While this may seem a bit dramatic, I want us to get the mental picture of where all fear is directed. It’s always directed in the future. You may want to write that down:

Fear is future-directed.

Even if we are afraid that something we did in the past is going to come back to haunt us – it is not the past that we are really fearful about – it is the future of what will happen when someone (or lots of someones) find out. You can probably think of someone famous in the news right now (no matter when you read this, unfortunately) whose past is jumping up (big time) – but his fear is about the future.

You can probably think of something that you have done that you really, really hope others do not find out about – and you can recognize the fear, worry, and angst that come as we imagine what would happen if people found out. Spending a great deal of time being fearful of the future…based on something from the past, isn’t wise and it certainly isn’t productive.

So, I hope this is clear, that is, that you understand that fear, worry, and anxiety are all future-focused, not present focused. As Tennessee Williams wrote:

“The future is called “perhaps,” which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you.”

If you are feeling fearful or worried, see if you need to pull yourself mentally back to the present.  It’s not so scary right here, right now.  Really.

And please, if you want ideas for staying positive, you’re invited to be part of the Staying Positive Society.  

Have you ever tried to control other people?  How does that work out?  Are any of the folks around you a bit negative?  Can you change that? 

Although we can’t CONTROL others, we can impinge on, have an impact on, and influence them. Knowing what is possible and what is reasonable is the crux of the matter. Attempting to do what is neither possible nor reasonable is where we get ourselves all twisted up in ‘control’ issues – and can become more freaked-out rather than less.

To start, please make a list of 10 different things that are freaking you out right now. And if ‘freaking you out’ is too strong a term, include items that are bugging you or are somehow causing you anxiety. These ten could be work or home related and they can be the BIG things or the little things, however you define them.

• You can think broadly about what is happening in the world;

• You can think about your personal bank account;

• You can think about the tooth that is hurting in your mouth right this minute;

• You can think about your brother who is headed into surgery today…

The list can go on and on, big and small. 

Now that you have this list, let’s begin thinking using a Venn diagram. 

1. Draw a series of 4 interlocking circles that go from right to left across a piece of paper you have turned sideways, i.e., landscape.

2. Label each circle thusly:

Total Control ->Significant Impact ->Some Influence ->Zero Control

Looking at the diagram you have, we will start over on the left. This first circle represents the set of actions, events, people, places, etc. over which you have total control. As you move further over to the right of the diagram, each circle represents sets (using Venn diagram language) over which you have gradually less and less control. Certainly, when you are drawing your own variations of this, you may vary the sizes of these circles to better represent what belongs there if that makes more sense to you to do so.

In this article, we are only going to talk about the first circle, i.e., the one representing the first set of actions, events, people, and so forth. The first circle can be labeled as Total Control, so just write that in if you haven’t already. For all of us who are control freaks, we wish this circle were larger, but it’s not – and the sooner we realize that, the better off we will be and the better off those around us will be. Let’s talk about what actually could go in this first circle.

If you look at the list you made of what is either freaking you out, bugging you, or causing you some anxiety, see which ones are COMPLETELY under your control. My guess is that VERY few of the ones you wrote down, and possibly NONE of the ones you wrote down are totally within your control. Here are some possibilities, however:

1. Your weight. Now I will tell you that my weight is not freaking me out, but it’s a source of anxiety. It’s related to my whole ‘what happened to the young and thin and cute person who still lives in my head but doesn’t show up in the mirror’ thing. For our purposes here, I need to recognize that whether I lose weight or don’t is completely under my control. I could put that in my first circle here.

2. Negative talk coming out of my mouth. If any of us is saying negative, gossipy, cynical, unhelpful words, phrases, and sentences, well…that is completely under our control. Unless someone has Tourette’s or some other condition that I am not aware of, we have control over what comes out of our mouths.

I won’t continue with much explanation here of additional examples, but suffice it to say that pretty much all that we have complete control over is our minds and bodies and many of the aspects of what is related to our minds and bodies. What we say, what we eat, what we wear, what we think, what we do (to an extent) is all under our direction and control. And that’s about it, folks. Sorry. But, knowing that can sure make a difference for you as a person, a family member, an administrator, a colleague, a mentor, a teacher, or whatever other role you find yourself in. 

We are going to jump right in. Move. Locomote. Propel yourself. Act. Vary. Go forward. Go somewhere. But move.

“You can’t steer a parked car.”

I tried to find whether this was a quote so I could acknowledge somebody, but I found it in about 10,000 places. This must be one of those statements that a whole lot of people’s parents told them when they were learning to drive, but I never heard it until recently.

“You can’t steer a parked car.”

I love this statement and the concept that it conveys for us who are in business. When we (or someone around us) is stuck in fear, negativity, malaise, hopelessness, sadness, or any of the other damaging (over the long term) places that we can get to, then we need to move. Please note that this is not about a time of sadness after a death or a segment of a day where you feel despondent or negative. This is about getting stuck in place that is not indicative of any kind of engagement in a promising pursuit.

“You can’t steer a parked car.”

You can’t get out of the “bad” place or the “negative” place or the “scared” place or the “problem” place until you move – even just a little bit. You don’t have to floor board the gas pedal to be able to steer, but you have to at least turn on the ignition and take the car out of park. You can gently, oh-so-gently take your foot off the brake and start to roll. Now the car isn’t parked and you can actually steer it.

This is what you can do metaphorically as well. And please know that this is definitely an idea that you can share with an individual who is struggling. Just get the person to take his or her “car” out of park.

Consider a small business owner who just is not going anywhere. She isn’t failing. She isn’t growing. She isn’t doing anything. She talks about closing up shop and only says it half jokingly. She wishes she had more clients but has a million reasons why she doesn’t. She goes to seminars and trainings and then goes back to her office and can only compare herself with the other people she is meeting and finds herself coming up short. She is stuck. Here is what you might say to her – in whatever way your relationship suggests:

1. Take the car out of park and put it in drive.

2. Make a list of 10 ideas that you have learned (or whatever number seems like the right number – it could be more or it could be less). Anyway, make a list of 10 ideas you have learned. You might serve as the scribe while your friend says them. You want her to keep talking and so you can just keep writing.

3. After you have the list, ask, “On this first idea, could you start _____?” Or, “I’m seeing this idea you listed about what you learned. What if we ______?” The idea is to help the person focus on small actions that could be taken. You can’t steer a parked car. When you’re stuck, your car is in park and you ain’t goin’ nowhere…bleh, I say.

If you’re trying to make some changes in your life, if you are trying to go in a different direction or however you would describe it, be clear that you cannot make change or go a different direction if you’re not moving at all. Hello?! You can’t steer a parked car.

Are you ready to take a bold action? Could you be more productive if you were more bold?

“Fortune befriends the bold.” ~John Dryden

Is bold a word you use to describe yourself, your behaviors, your thoughts, and your actions? If you haven’t imagined yourself as bold – up ’til now – What do you need to be bold about? Here are ten prompts to consider:

1. Do you need to make a bold claim? What statement do you need to pronounce to yourself or others?

2. Do you need to set a bold goal? Why have you been holding back?

3. Do you need to make a bold break? Maybe from a relationship, a job, a marriage, a city, a lifestyle, a role?

4. Do you need to have a bold conversation? You already know the answer to this, don’t you? You have a person with whom, if you had a bold conversation, it would change everything for you (or for the person).

5. Do you need to engage in a bold cause? Look around. What troubles you on the deepest level in your neighborhood, your community, your organization, your country, your world? Do you want to get involved in solving that?

6. Do you need to make a bold physical change in yourself or your environment? If you could, what would you do and why? Decide if you want to take the steps you need to take.

7. Do you need to deliver a bold testimonial? What or who do you need to stand up for? How would you go about delivering this bold testimonial?

8. Do you need to offer a bold alternative? Please, don’t hold back! Every situation needs alternatives to consider. If you have a bold alternative way of thinking or acting or responding, offer it so that it can be considered.

9. Do you need to make a bold decision? Fear often holds us back from making the bold decisions, but we know perfectly well what those decisions could be. What is yours?

10. Do you need to find a bold friend and accountability partner? It’s possible just to set something up with a MasterMind group, a special friend, or a trusted family member. You can also hire a coach who can be your bold friend and accountability partner. This person could also help you take action on any of the previous nine prompts.

See if one of these questions helps you think about an area where you want to be more bold. What could open up for you if you were more bold?

Often, you need to make changes in your upcoming appointments and commitments. Many people aren’t sure how to let others know that an appointment needs to be changed or a deadline won’t be met. The best phrase I’ve ever found is “It turns out….” Use the phrase, “It turns out…” when you need to tell someone that you

• Can’t meet with him;

• Need to reschedule lunch with an acquaintance (and that you’ll get back to her…or not);

• Will have to change your “yes” to a “no” regarding an upcoming holiday party;

• Can still write the letter of support for a grant, but will need the person to send a draft of that letter to you, which you’ll then tweak as needed, put on your letter head and send back;

• Won’t be able to fill in for someone on the carpool for the 10^th time this month;

• Will need to contribute some money to an event rather than being there in person;

• What else?

When you say, “It turns out…” with no further explanation for why you are making the change, you are not being unfriendly, unresponsive, uncaring, irresponsible, or any of the adjectives that your “gremlin” might be saying to you.

You are clearing out space to work on your priorities. All professionals have far more requests for their our time than there is time to commit. You have to make choices. That is part of being a grown up. It’s a huge factor in your success in business and in life.

When you are trying to determine when to use the phrase “It turns out,” evaluate what is in your planner (calendar and to-do list) based on the criterion of importance. If something is not important, get rid of it.

Let me give you a little quick lesson on the difference between urgent and important (because many people get confused).

• important = adj 1: of much import, carrying with it serious consequences; weighty, momentous, grave, and significant. (Oxford English Dictionary)
• urgent = adj 1: pressing, compelling; calling for or demanding immediate action; anything characterized by urgency. (Oxford English Dictionary)

You have probably seen the Urgent/Important matrix, which was brought into popular culture by Stephen Covey, but was talked about by leadership and time management professionals prior to Covey’s book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If you haven’t seen it, just Google it and you will see examples.

What I want you and everyone else reading this article to do is to remove appointments and tasks/to-do’s that are NOT important from your planner. Just use “It turns out,” as your power productivity phrase and start making space for your most important projects and commitments.

This is one of those times that it will be worth printing and posting these ideas so that you have the questions as ready reminders:

1. Is what I am doing right now the best use of my time? If you are in business, then you better make sure this is a question you are asking yourself throughout your day. You need to make sure you know what the “best” use of your time is or this question is of no value. If you’re not sure, hire a coach to help you figure it out.

2. Is part of my day – everyday – spent working through my strengths? If it’s not, you are not only not very productive but ultimately, you’re not going to be very happy.

3. Do I gain satisfaction from what I do? It’s your life. Why would you work at a job that doesn’t provide satisfaction?

4. Am I appreciated for the work that I do? If you do great work and you aren’t getting appreciated, it’s time to take a look at why you aren’t. Maybe your colleagues and boss need a little encouragement to make sure people feel appreciated. Or, maybe you work in a toxic environment and it’s time to get out.

5. Is at least 80% of my time spent with people who are positive (vs. negative)? You can change your percentage even higher (I do), but at least, get to 80% if you’re below that now. You may have to add more positive people or remove the negative ones to get to this percentage, but do so, regardless.

6. Have I expressed my gratitude today? My suggestion would be to express it out loud to individuals and internally to yourself and out there…to the Universe.

7. Am I drinking enough water? Note: If you are thirsty, the answer is no. Recently, I heard that we all need to drink 1/2 ounce for each pound of our body weight. So, that’s a starting point for you…(and me).

8. Who is my ideal client (and am I working with that person)? I know, this is two questions – and they are essential questions to ask and answer.

9. Am I paid commensurate with the value I provide? Talk to your boss, get a different job, or if you work for yourself, see what changes you need to make so that they answer is a resounding YES!

10. If my house were paid off, every loan I owed were paid, I owed no money on credit cards, and I had health insurance guaranteed for life, would I still keep doing what I’m doing?

Answer these truthfully today and everyday. Make any changes that seem to be warranted. It really is YOUR life.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5321006

What happens when your calendar is just crammed? Should you quit using a calendar? Should you just pitch the calendar?

No, of course not. You have to figure out how to make more room so you can get your projects done. The way that you make more room is by eliminating part of what is already there. You can do that by implementing one or more of the following:

1. You can move some tasks, projects, appointments that are scheduled for the next week, month, or longer into the future. You have to decide what period of time is overly-crammed and start taking a good hard look at what you can move to the future.

2. You can assess that some of what you thought needed to be on your schedule (or in your to-do list) really doesn’t need to be there. You make that assessment by realizing that some of what is currently there is not as important as other tasks and projects that you want to accomplish.   Note: Just because you eliminate something doesn’t mean that it is not important at all, it just means that it is less important – now – than what you need/want to be doing instead.

3. You can minimize your involvement on some projects or other commitments that you want to keep. You are not dropping the commitment altogether, but you are shrinking it. If you put your mind to it, I have faith that you can find something to minimize but still not eliminate it completely.

4. You can figure out if someone else can take over all or part of some aspect of what you need to do. Regardless of whether you are trying to clear out some of your personal or professional commitments, consider delegating out at least a portion of one or more of those scheduled items.

5. You can ask for some help. If you have children and someone else lives in your house, ask that person for some extra help for the few weeks or months. If you have some friends who “get it,” do some trade-off time with them. You take the “crew” one Saturday and your friend takes the crew the next week. If you have projects at work that could be shared, see about figuring that out, with the idea that you are lessening your involvement and the time commitment.   Note: You aren’t shirking your duties. You are committed to accomplishing goals that are important to you either personally, professionally or BOTH.

So, take a good look at your crammed calendar and apply one or all of these 5 tips. Make some space so you can be more productive on what is most important.