Knowing what your strengths are and then working through your strengths will change your business and professional life. Here are three books worth reading (and I have read them more times than I can count).

Now, Discover Your Strengths – Buckingham, Marcus & Donald O. Clifton

If you are like most teachers, you may have some clutter lurking in your classroom – and let’s start with your desk.

Look at that big drawer in the lower right- or left-hand side of your desk – the one where files are supposed to go.  To use that drawer for its intended purpose, you will have to take out the extra pair of shoes, the box of energy bars, the toys you’ve taken from students, the extra bottled water, the wire in-basket that never was big enough, etc.   Another possibility for ‘clutter’ is the drawer that could be called the “history of makeup” area.  Whatever might be hiding in this drawer – toss it!  Do you ever really have time to apply makeup during the school day anyway? Get everything out of the drawer so it’s free and clear to become a place to access easily and quickly for your increased productivity.

Note:  If the desk you inherited from the previous teacher is broken, the drawers don’t open or are in some way non-functional, you should walk right down to the custodian’s office and ask for some immediate assistance. This is not a time when you should just “make do.” You are a professional educator and you deserve a functional desk.

One of my good friends, who is a teacher, says that we all need to have the “Disneyland Mentality.”   That is, no one would think of throwing garbage on the ground at Disneyland because there isn’t any trash already on the ground. They have lots of workers on the lookout for the least bit of garbage and no area is left unkempt at any time.  So, what does this mean for your classroom?  Hmmmmm…..

Look around your classroom, office, or home (wherever you are reading this).

• Do you see anything that is not in its designated space?

• Do you see some items that do not even have a designated space?

• Are areas of your desk, side table, floor, or shelves piled (however neatly) with paper, folders, containers, and random items?

• Is there anything within range of your view that gives you an annoying sense of “gosh, that needs to be done,” or a troubling sense of “yikes…I wonder if I should be doing that instead of what I’m doing now?” or the like? 

If these questions make you want to cry or throw your hands up in despair, have hope! Yes, you have some clutter, and yes, it’s time to make a move to rid yourself of it. Even the smallest change can give you a new sense of how your world can change for the better.

Put in place a “Disneyland Mentality.” Don’t allow yourself, your family, or your students to make a mess of your space. Organization should be the constant in your classroom.  Here are some steps you can take immediately to clear the clutter and conquer its attendant chaos.

1. Have a serious throwaway session! Don’t bother trying to organize things you shouldn’t be keeping in the first place. As Barbara Hemphill comments, “If you do not know an item to be useful, believe it to be beautiful, or love it for personal reasons, it’s time to get rid of it.”  

2. Get in the habit of throwing more pieces of paper out than you let come in to your possession every day (and that takes some doing, believe me!)  

3. Do the same for all the incoming items…physical, digital, and mental. For example, have a serious deleting session with your email. Then, get in the habit of getting rid of a higher number of emails every day than you have new ones coming in. Once you have reached the point of 0 (yes, zero) emails left in your in-box at the end of each day, you will be more likely to maintain this state.

Imagine your students grading you on your room’s “clutter factor.” Ouch. Wouldn’t you like to get an “A” this nine weeks in clutter reduction? For some teachers, old habits die hard, but for others, once they learn to get and stay clutter-free, they see the difference and feel the freedom.

Human beings love to achieve…to set goals and to reach those goals. It’s motivating. Use that to your advantage when you are cleaning, clearing, decluttering – and of course, destressing.

Make a VOW to rid yourself of a certain amount, number, or percentage of your ‘stuff,’ whether your stuff is books, papers, files, cans, emails, stuffed animals, or anything else that is cluttering up your mental or physical space.

VOW is an acronym for:

• Visualize

• Orally Commit

• Work through the obstacles

Let’s explore this acronym…

You may be one of the people reading this post who has a wall (or several walls) of books in your home or office. You know perfectly well that it’s time to move some of them out – whether it’s to make room for more books, to make room for other items, or just to create space, which is a SUPERB reason.

You could VOW to get rid of 2 books (a goal involving a number) everyday for 100 days.

• First, you’d Visualize what it would look like to get rid of 200 books.

• Then, you’d Orally commit to doing so. You could tell a colleague, your students, someone in your family, or your coach. You need to say it out loud so you hear yourself making the commitment. This helps to get the idea and the commitment into your brain.

• Then, you Work through the obstacles. Obstacles might be where you’d find the time to get rid of two everyday; the fear that as soon as you get rid of a book, you’d wish you had it; the worry that stuff will fall down if you start taking out books; and so forth. Since only smart people read these articles, I’ll bet once you name these obstacles, you can work through them. If not, let someone help you. Humans also love to help others.

Another VOW (involving a percentage) that you might make could involve your acknowledgement of the research that indicates that 80-90% of what is in the average professional’s file cabinet will never be used again…so you could VOW to recycle or shred at least 50% of what is in your file cabinet.

An example of a VOW involving an amount could be determining that as you declutter (and then destress about your laundry room/pantry) is that you will fill two average-size grocery bags with food you’ll never eat, containers that you don’t need, or whatever else can be removed from that space.

Human beings love measurable goals. Use that proclivity to your advantage by VOWing to get rid of a particular number, amount, or percentage of something as you reduce your clutter and the experience the concomitant reduction in your stress.

And you are invited to access the full-color Get a Plan! Guide(R) to Ridding Your Workspace of Clutter to REALLY get going on decluttering.  This special Get a Plan! Guide(R) will give you (and others with whom you work) suggestions and motivation to start de-cluttering your workspace (and even your home).

Let us say that you have decided to close the door to negative people (figuratively, of course). What is tough about this decision is that sometimes the negative people work in our offices (or live in our homes or are related to us in some way). Deciding to “close the door” on the people who are negative is a first step. However, because we may need to interact with these folks on a regular basis, we do have to take further steps after our decision so that it comes to fruition.

We will use the example of metaphorically “closing the door” on your interaction with colleagues who are forever buzzing around and upsetting you and others with their fear-mongering, negativity, and gossip. Unfortunately, this is an all-too-common scenario in many workplaces today.

Step one is to say to yourself, “I am closing the door on the gossip and negativity and fear from these three colleagues who have infested my thinking for the last 3 years.”

Step two is to begin to generate the ways that will allow you to accomplish this (and it is not easy, I know!) Here are some possibilities to consider implementing:

1. I will be ready to change the subject whenever one or more of them start talking with me and it is negative.

2. I will specifically speak to each person and let him/her know that I am working hard to stay on the upside instead of the downside and am going to work to focus differently.

3. I will walk away from situations in the office that look like they will turn into negativity sessions.

4. I will learn more about the personal parts of every one of these people’s life so that I can ask questions to help them focus on something good that is happening.

5. I will ask the boss if she/he can encourage all of us to look on the bright side and bring our creativity to situations that seem gloomy.

6. I will resign from particular committees that involve extensive interaction with these three people and seek different opportunities to contribute to the organization.

These are six options. I have no idea what will work in your situation so you can continue generating possible options or modifications to the ideas suggested above.

Is closing the door on negative people as easy as deciding to eat something besides yogurt everyday for lunch? Nope. You’re up to the challenge, though, aren’t you?

If you want your life to be better, if you want something to be different this time next year, if you want your energy focused on the upside instead of the downside, then you will want to open yourself to solutions.  Many are available through the Staying Positive Society – www.StayingPositiveinaFreakedOutWorld.com.  Check it out!

It is not just the big things that need to be eliminated in order to reduce stress. You may need to get rid of those extra Cool Whip tubs that fall out of your cabinet every time you open the drawer. You will be surprised by what is on this list. How about starting to eliminate your stress by getting rid of:

1. A ratty planner. Go out and buy one that you love – right now!

2. Ugly decorations for any holiday. Less is more.

3. Irritating sounds (try noise canceling headphones – the technology is amazing).

4. Unnecessarily long meetings (be sure to announce the time you’ll be leaving at the beginning of the meeting).

5. Paying bills by writing checks (and addressing envelopes and putting stamps on). On-line banking and bill paying is fast, easy and secure.

6. Waiting in line at the post office to buy stamps. Please. You have better things to do.

7. Old prescription eyeglasses. The glasses you have from 3, 4, 5+ prescriptions ago…have got to go (and can be dropped off at your eye doctor’s or the Lion’s Club to be given someone who needs them).

8. Returning low-dollar items. If you bought it at the dollar store and it’s defective, fagetaboutit! Depending on your income bracket, you might choose never to return anything….just give it away.

9. Gadgets that don’t work (can openers, VCRs, etc.). All they do is bug you. Get rid of them!

10. Gadgets that you never use (Ron Popeil and other info-mercial kings have single-handedly contributed to the need for this listing!).

11. Plastic tubs in your kitchen (you have Rubbermaid, Tupperware, and so forth a-plenty…so why do you need 35 Cool Whip tubs?).

12. Anything past its expiration date (medicine, spices, contact solutions, canned goods, mayonnaise, etc.).

13. Habits that you obsess over.

14. Emails. Not all email….but if you have hundreds or thousands of emails in your inbox, sent items, deleted items, or some other “items” folder….you are not being peacefully, predictably productive. Start eliminating.

15. Phone books. What in the world do you need phone books for? MAYBE keep one but, for heaven’s sake. Get rid of all the others. They are big and cumbersome and just in the way.

If you can get rid of one of these today, you are making progress. Start working toward eliminating at least one each week for the next 15 weeks and you will much less stress in just four months from now. Hooray for you!!

Please comment on what you want to eliminate – and the difference it makes for you!!  We’re interested

Are you an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person? Do you have some tasks, responsibilities, or projects that you have been procrastinating? I will assume that since you are still reading that the answer is yes to both.

If you have a mental list of items that you are procrastinating, I first recommend that you get them out of your head and on to a piece of paper (or into a document on your computer). Either way, get a list – and then we will work on that list.

I want you to look over your list of procrastinated tasks (projects, etc.) and deliberately, mindfully, and purposefully DECIDE to ask for help on at least one of them. I’ll wait right here while you are doing that.

There are two ways to think about this:

1. Sometimes, you need to ask someone else to help you by doing a particular task, errand, or other commitment and

2. Sometimes, you need to ask someone to handle sometime that you have been handling so that YOU can then complete or make progress on one of your procrastinated items.

For example, let’s say you are procrastinating getting several articles finished – all of which you need to get written and published if you are going to be able to confidently go up for tenure. The help you need to ask for is that your significant other get himself and the kids out of the house with minimum muss and fuss for at least 4 hours every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. That’s the help you need.

In another case, you have been procrastinating cleaning out the garage. You ask a teenager to come over and help you. You are happy to contribute to this young person’s financial well-being if he will help you get things down out of the rafters, off top shelves, and out of various garage nooks and crannies. And, you will be so happy to have him haul things away to a dumpster, Goodwill, recycling places, etc. when the sifting and sorting are complete. You are not delegating out the garage cleaning – you are asking for the help you need so that you can clean out the garage.

Go through your list now and determine the items where you need to deliberately ask for help. Put the name of the person you will be asking for help. The idea here is to think about the ones you’re procrastinating just because you need some kind of help with getting it done.

Here’s a secret: People are glad to help. They are especially glad to help if you have come across as an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person. I know this from experience.

Here’s another secret: It is hard to ask for help if you have been an “I-can-do-it-all-myself” person – and it gets easier. I know this from experience.

You may have noticed something that I’ve noticed:  Some of the people we are around who are the most negative appear not to be thankful for one single thing. And I have to believe that there is not a person alive who is unable to find something for which to be thankful. What always strikes me are the people who ‘seem’ to have nothing…and yet, they may demonstrate gratitude on a regular basis. Seems we might learn from that.

None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.  ~Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

What a great lesson this is, particularly in these times where many are fearing or experiencing bankruptcy. We can feel wealthy through our gratitude, and to share another quote related to the monetary aspect, Frank A. Clark says, “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” Ponder that one.

Now, here’s a fact: Because too few people display gratitude, when you do, others will be affected and possibly astonished by it. Although this is sad that authentic gratitude is shown too seldom, you can absolutely make someone else’s day – and your day – more positive by clearly and thoughtfully expressing your gratitude.

Now, if you consider the five levels of gratitude to be accept, appreciate, articulate, acknowledge, and affirm/admire, then take a look at the examples below of how you might express gratitude at each of these levels.  

1. Accept – “Thank you.”  

2. Appreciate - “Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly.”  

3. Articulate - “Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly. We are not just on schedule, we are ahead of schedule and the citizens of our city will know that we are using their resources carefully and prudently.”  

4. Acknowledge - ”Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly. We are not just on schedule, we are ahead of schedule and the citizens of our city will know that we are using their resources carefully and prudently. I know this was one of many tasks you needed to handle this week – each of which is important. Again, thank you.”  

5. Affirm/Admire - “Thank you. I appreciate that you got this done so promptly. We are not just on schedule, we are ahead of schedule and the citizens of our city will know that we are using their resources carefully and prudently. I know this was one of many tasks you needed to handle this week – each of which is important. Somehow, no matter what is happening around you and how many demands are put on you, you handle it with aplomb (a-plum) and grace. I admire that quality because it’s not yet one I have. Again, thank you.”

Hmmm…now, you probably noticed that each of these got a little bit longer. And you may think, ‘Hello!? I don’t have time for that.’ I timed myself and it takes 25 seconds to say the last one – with significant pauses.  Frankly, if we have reached a point where we don’t have time at least a few times a day for 15-25 second displays of authentic gratitude, then our world has really become freaked out.  

If it matters to you whether you are able to stay positive in a freaked-out world, you’re invited to be part of the Staying Positive Society – www.StayingPositiveinaFreakedOutWorld.com.  Join us there. 

Have you ever tried to control other people?  How does that work out?  Are any of the folks around you a bit negative?  Can you change that? 

Although we can’t CONTROL others, we can impinge on, have an impact on, and influence them. Knowing what is possible and what is reasonable is the crux of the matter. Attempting to do what is neither possible nor reasonable is where we get ourselves all twisted up in ‘control’ issues – and can become more freaked-out rather than less.

To start, please make a list of 10 different things that are freaking you out right now. And if ‘freaking you out’ is too strong a term, include items that are bugging you or are somehow causing you anxiety. These ten could be work or home related and they can be the BIG things or the little things, however you define them.

• You can think broadly about what is happening in the world;

• You can think about your personal bank account;

• You can think about the tooth that is hurting in your mouth right this minute;

• You can think about your brother who is headed into surgery today…

The list can go on and on, big and small. 

Now that you have this list, let’s begin thinking using a Venn diagram. 

1. Draw a series of 4 interlocking circles that go from right to left across a piece of paper you have turned sideways, i.e., landscape.

2. Label each circle thusly:

Total Control ->Significant Impact ->Some Influence ->Zero Control

Looking at the diagram you have, we will start over on the left. This first circle represents the set of actions, events, people, places, etc. over which you have total control. As you move further over to the right of the diagram, each circle represents sets (using Venn diagram language) over which you have gradually less and less control. Certainly, when you are drawing your own variations of this, you may vary the sizes of these circles to better represent what belongs there if that makes more sense to you to do so.

In this article, we are only going to talk about the first circle, i.e., the one representing the first set of actions, events, people, and so forth. The first circle can be labeled as Total Control, so just write that in if you haven’t already. For all of us who are control freaks, we wish this circle were larger, but it’s not – and the sooner we realize that, the better off we will be and the better off those around us will be. Let’s talk about what actually could go in this first circle.

If you look at the list you made of what is either freaking you out, bugging you, or causing you some anxiety, see which ones are COMPLETELY under your control. My guess is that VERY few of the ones you wrote down, and possibly NONE of the ones you wrote down are totally within your control. Here are some possibilities, however:

1. Your weight. Now I will tell you that my weight is not freaking me out, but it’s a source of anxiety. It’s related to my whole ‘what happened to the young and thin and cute person who still lives in my head but doesn’t show up in the mirror’ thing. For our purposes here, I need to recognize that whether I lose weight or don’t is completely under my control. I could put that in my first circle here.

2. Negative talk coming out of my mouth. If any of us is saying negative, gossipy, cynical, unhelpful words, phrases, and sentences, well…that is completely under our control. Unless someone has Tourette’s or some other condition that I am not aware of, we have control over what comes out of our mouths.

I won’t continue with much explanation here of additional examples, but suffice it to say that pretty much all that we have complete control over is our minds and bodies and many of the aspects of what is related to our minds and bodies. What we say, what we eat, what we wear, what we think, what we do (to an extent) is all under our direction and control. And that’s about it, folks. Sorry. But, knowing that can sure make a difference for you as a person, a family member, an administrator, a colleague, a mentor, a teacher, or whatever other role you find yourself in. 

Unless you are ever-vigilant (and have been for the past 5 - 10 years) when it’s time for de-cluttering, you will need a trash container.  If you are only cleaning out one wayward drawer, then a teeny trash basket may be enough.  On the other hand, if you are de-cluttering your entire classroom, office, garage, or wherever else you’ve decided to deal with, then you might as well bring in the BIG bin (or many large trash bags). 

Better to have plenty of space for tossing those items that no longer belong in your space - for for which there is really no other purpose or use.  

So, here’s what to consider when you are ridding your workspace of clutter and starting the ‘tossing portion’ of your activity:   

Designate one bin, container, box, or bag as TRASH.  Remember, whatever receptacle you designate for trash is NOT to be some dinky wastebasket, but rather a big trash bin. In many cases, people also need to have several large black trash bags for use when they fill up the trash bin. It is staggering what most people find to throw away when they begin this process.  And, if you have a teenager who wants to earn a little extra money (and what teen doesn’t?!) then his/her job can be to haul out the trash bags or boxes as you fill them.  When you are de-cluttering, it’s best to keep things moving. 

Just in case you are not sure what might get tossed,these are the sorts of items you might find to put in the “Trash” receptacle:

• scarily-outdated food items,

• old bottles of make-up,

• pen carcasses – those pens you tried to write with but since they didn’t write, you just tossed them back in the drawer,

• pictures of people you don’t even know or remember,

• boxes of software that you have never opened (and are meant for MS-DOS),

• anything that is either unidentifiable or for which you cannot determine a potential use, and which someone else wouldn’t find a use

• and more. 

Before you can even begin to think about what belongs where and how to organize what is useful to you – you have to clear out part of what isn’t.  And, sad to say for most of us, we have ‘trash’ that needs to be disposed of.  Go ahead and get started…today.  And set aside time in the future to REALLY have a ‘take out the trash’ day!  Your creativity and productivity will jump up, I promise.

How is it working for you to be trying to control others?  Probably not so great!  Should you give up or at least try to have some kind of impact on them so that they can be more positive, too (like you are).

Draw a series of 4 interlocking circles that go from right to left across a piece of paper you have turned sideways, i.e., landscape. Label each circle thusly:

Total Control ->Significant Impact ->Some Influence ->Zero Control

Let’s examine the second circle in the diagram, the one labeled as ‘Significant Impact.’ You can’t control everything, but there are certain areas where you can have a significant impact. Make a list of some things that are bugging you (or maybe even completely freaking you out). After making the list, see if there aren’t some items there over which you exert (or could exert) significant impact. Here are some possibilities:

1. Let’s say that your job is bugging you and it’s because you really want to make a change related to this job, for example, leave that job altogether, move up and out of that position, go to a different division, completely change roles within your organization, or catapult yourself out of everything related to this field and type of work. Regardless of which of these or other variations someone might feel, you know you need and want to make a change because you feel a fair amount of angst around it. So, could you have a significant impact on what happens, but not total control? Yes. For example, you could increase your skills by taking classes. You could begin to be more vocal about what your intentions are. You could put the word out on the street that you are open to new possibilities. You could hire a coach to help you clarify what you really want. These are just some of the options that help you move forward.  

2. Another possibility related to the “Significant Impact” set on the Venn diagram would be someone who is freaked out by having a completely overwhelming schedule at work. Maybe there have been cutbacks or someone has quit or you have just shown yourself to be a star so you keep getting assigned more and more. Whatever the reason, you’ve now reached an OMG (Oh, my god) stage of overwhelm and anxiety. You don’t have total control over this, but you do have significant impact on this situation. You could get more organized so that you can be more productive in what you’re doing. You could hire someone to help you with portions of your work. You could ask for extensions of deadlines.  You could reassess what you’re doing and realize that some of it doesn’t matter and doesn’t need to get done. There are lots of options and all of these + the jillions I didn’t list, help to make an impact on your overwhelmed situation.

This second circle, Significant Impact, is the one where it makes sense to pay particular attention because we CAN exert significant impact and so it is worthy of our time, attention, and other resources to focus on what is in this circle.