Staying in a Job You Don’t Like (Life of *E*s Extravaganza Q & A)
What eliminates fear of the unknown?
[MEMc] I don’t think anything eliminates that fear. Sometimes the unknown is less scary than the known, however. It’s why women finally leave abusive relationships, for example. Sometimes it’s a personality style that loves the risk of the unknown and so then, fear or not, they run with it.
Why does it seem more ‘practical ‘ to stay in a no growth /advancement position than to try something else?
[MEMc] Because we’re all afraid. We also don’t see our potential and we don’t recognize what is possible in us. As women, in particular, we have not been taught or encouraged to go for it…but have been taught to be ‘thankful’ for any small crumb from the big table. That’s true in any industry but particularly in a male-dominated one like yours.
When it is obvious that where you are at is all for show and has no substance; there is talk of integrity, growth and educational support, but actions negate the words, why is it hard to leave?
[MEMc] Fear. Worry. The hope that maybe something will get better (even when we know it won’t). The nagging little voice that tells us we aren’t worthy of anything more. The thought that we can ‘stick it out.’
Why are there so many people that don’t know how to apply what they say they have learned to what they do?
[MEMc] There’s a chasm between head knowledge and implementation. There are also a lot of people who don’t know what they don’t know but scarier are the ones who THINK they know and they don’t know s__t. It’s the disconnect that makes it impossible to be around people like this.
Health Insurance? I have to stay in Hell because it has health insurance?
[MEMc] WAYYYYYY too many people are doing this. I hear it from people nearly every day. And they are miserable and admit that the only reason they are staying in their job is for the health insurance. What kind of f- up situation is this? I get, however, that we need health insurance and that we worry what will happen if we aren’t covered any longer – or can’t get our previous conditions covered. Unfortunately, many are finding that even with their health insurance, they are getting denied for stuff. And then they find that they stayed in an untenable position and still get kicked to the curb insurance-wise. I don’t have an answer for you on this one…there are no guarantees even in your current situation. And since the public option still seems to be a ways away….I don’t know what the best answer is. It is not an unreasonable concern, and I understand that.
Heavy stuff for a Wednesday, I know, but I’m ready to make a break for the unknown and need a good plan.
[MEMc] Bless you…and I wish I really had ‘answers’ – but I can at least listen/read and try to be encouraging. You are not alone in this struggle. So many of us are…and so many women with whom I interact daily.
You are talented and smart and are clearly a survivor given your life experiences. You can make it whatever you decide to do. I believe that.
As I mentioned above, this is a question that was sent in recently during the Life of E’s Email Extravaganza – if you’d like to be part of our group (and we would love for you to join!), view information on the Life of E’s here.
Tags: fear, health insurance, women, workplace
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