Dealing with Energy Thieves (1 or 2 people), AKA “pie suckers” – Part 1

Posted on June 4th, 2010, by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D.

Roger Mellott speaks about stress management for professionals. He discusses the idea of having an “energy pie” and posits that some people wake up with an energy pie the size of a dinner mint and others wake up with an energy pie that is the size of a child’s swimming pool.

I take several lessons from this:

We need to have the biggest energy pie possible;
We need to be aware of where our energy pie goes;
We need to avoid what I call “pie suckers.” You know what I mean….those people who just suck the life right out of you. There’s a sucking sound that you hear whenever they approach.

This post addresses how to deal with ‘pie suckers,” i.e., those people who are thieves of your energy.

Know who your “pie suckers” are. Don’t make a list to post in your office, but know who they are.
Avoid pie suckers whenever possible. Practice saying “Hello!” instead of “How are you?”
Walk past pie suckers quickly (fast walking burns more calories, anyway).
When asked if you “Have a minute?” the answer is “No.” You may smile and shake your head, but don’t give an inch.
Be polite but distant. Don’t learn about your pie sucker’s illnesses, pets, in-laws, children, or work-out routine. Similarly, don’t share your own private information.

Please note: The moniker “pie sucker” applies *only* to one or two people in your life (at least I hope so). This isn’t the person who just sort of irritates you now and then or someone you just don’t care for. This is for the person that just drains your energy in ways that distinguish them from others. It’s sad to say, but usually when I talk about this in workshops, people know exactly what I’m talking about. If you have more than one or two pie-suckers, you may need to do some seriously re-thinking about your work or personal life and how this is happening.

Additional note: In all honesty, we are likely to be someone’s pie sucker, too. We should take a look at what people might find about us that just drains the life out of them. There’s room for growth in all of us.