Life Of E's

Beverly Delidow has given me permission to share this with all of you readers. 

Things I Have Learned

1. It is OK and fun and occasionally very productive to try things you “never do”. I did this at a clothing store while waiting for my car to be serviced, pre-road trip. I went in and tried on things I normally would avoid like the plague – and discovered that a black and white print trouser can be quite attractive because it blurs out the things I don’t want people to notice. That particular pair didn’t fit for other reasons, but I found a skirt in a similar pattern I really enjoy wearing.

2. It is a measure of your devotion to an activity or cause or idea if you are willing to drop whatever, grab your keys, change your shoes and run out of your office on a moment’s notice to do something that gives others the impression you must be looking for your lost marbles. Especially if you do it twice in one week. Through a relay and round robin of phone calls on Wednesday I ended up being the designated rescuer for an injured owl my neighbor found. I got the necessary instructions from a friend who is a licensed rehab specialist and went out the door at a dead run. Spent over an hour in blistering heat walking up and down a busy narrow road looking for the bird while carrying a blanket and gardening gloves and getting very odd looks from the many drivers. Never did find it and found out later it went missing probably an hour before I got there. But I love birds, especially owls, and I was willing to risk being scratched or bitten, cars, heat, blisters, and the bald annoyance of honking nitwits to have the chance to save one. On Friday I ended up rushing a very sick little falcon to a vet in Charleston. Turns out honking nitwits do follow birds – I got lost trying to find the vet office and some jerk of a tailgater nearly rear-ended me while I was trying to read road signs. But that little bird has a chance because I did it.

3. The things that need to get done, will get done – adding stress and pressure on yourself does not help. Focusing on the practical, rather than the emotional, is a great head-clearer in this case and gets me to zoom in on step-by-step things that do move things along.

4. Being grateful gets you farther than being grumpy. This is not to say I am not grumpy sometimes (being that I am not a morning person, this is sometimes every 24 hours), but even when I am really peeved, I can recognize things I am glad to have, be, do, experience. [Eg, when I am royally ticked at the neighbors for being "helpful" with the mowing, I realize how lucky I am to have a safe, secure and financially secure home with a yard to argue about.]

5. Sometimes happiness means having less – Less “stuff”, but more meaning. Clutter and excess deprives you of space to appreciate what you have.

6. There are some folks who are not incapable, they are anti-capable – they think that being cared for means co-dependency and want you to do stuff for them so that they will know you care; they’ll flail and flitter and fluff and moan to get your “help” so they can feel worthy. I’ve been a participant on both sides, so I know. I decided some time ago to have more self-respect than that. There are people I love who still do this. I let them know I care, but I don’t buy into it. 

7. When it comes to food and shoes – buy QUALITY. These are two things that get me through a day in strength. Feeling good and energized, and feeling supported, tall, athletic, sexy are worth it.

8. Unplugging from electronic communication occasionally is liberating. It allows you to fully reboot and reset your priorities – I highly recommend it (even though the first couple days are to some degree uncomfortable). 

9. Sharing the birth of a butterfly with your father at 50 is no less enchanting than it was at 5.

10. The friends who really love you don’t expect more than you can give. They love it when you bake, but they won’t be disappointed if you come to the meeting with a box of crackers and some cheese, or even just the crackers, because you are there and that’s what they wanted. 

Ten’s enough, eh?

(c) Beverly C. Delidow, Ph.D.
Associate Professor
Marshall University

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Tags: 10 things, gratitude, learning, wisdom