Changing Priorities

Posted on May 14th, 2009, by Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D.

Recently, I received this question from a Life of E’s member:

Here’s one I’m fussing at these days: When you prioritize tasks or jobs, what criteria do you use? I find that my personal priorities can conflict with professional ones and that I’m being asked by others to re-order those priorities in ways that don’t make sense for me. Where are the balance points?

I love this question – and it’s so huge for all of us. I’ll offer some thoughts and then we can continue with this as needed.

Are you REALLY clear on what your personal priorities are? As in, are they not just clear in your head but also clear on paper (or digital)? Getting them clearer sometimes help ‘ward’ off the encroachers. So if you haven’t written them out, I’d suggest doing that first. And within your own priorities, prioritize them. Really have a #1, #2, knowing that it’s not always that easy but in general, we know we have to make choices and so really doing the work that helps us decide ‘if I could only do one thing, what would it be’. Also, these priorities shift during given weeks, years, etc.

When other people ask me to do things, part of what I weigh are the following:

Who is asking (some people rank higher than others)
What are the consequences of taking on these other tasks, jobs, commitments, etc? And that goes both for the upside and the downside of doing whatever it is – and then NOT doing whatever you would have done on your own priorities. A good way to think about this is the 10-10-10 idea (Suzy Welch). The following is cut from an Oprah article where I first read about this but I’ve since seen it in quite a few other publications (and she has a book out, which is worth reading: 10 – 10 – 10: A Life Transforming Idea):

“I call it 10-10-10. Here’s how it works. Every time I find myself in a situation where there appears to be no solution that will make everyone happy, I ask myself three questions:

What are the consequences of my decision in 10 minutes?

In 10 months?

And in 10 years?

The answers usually tell me what I need to know not only to make the most reasoned move but to explain my choice to the family members, friends, or coworkers who will feel its impact.”

When will I actually do whatever it is that someone is asking me to do? Flipping open my planner and really checking it out helps me figure out ‘hey, this can happen’ or ‘nope, not a chance.’
Why do I care? And frankly, if I can’t find much of a reason, then I’m pretty unlikely to take it on, at lest not in its entirety. Sometimes I care because of the person asking or the project, etc. Other times, the only reason I ‘care’ is because someone is going to be mad at me if I don’t do it. That’s not a good enough reason anymore except in fairly rare circumstances – and usually it’s because of the person – who I DO really care about.

I know you are feeling so much conflict over this and other aspects – and I think it’s all part of the shift you’re going through…and you’re doing a good job paying attention to this.

Hope this helps some…the 10, 10, 10 is a winner idea, I think.